Friday, December 10

Embarrassing Things I Own

Buffy Magazine
Originally uploaded by Paulscheer.
The "Official" Buffy Fan Club Magazine

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm a member of the fan club. And you wouldn't believe the awesome Willow poster they sent me..Sweet! Oh yeah, that's sad and pathetic.

I Reccomend...Us

Us Weekly
Originally uploaded by Paulscheer.
I'm addicted to Us magazine.

Now if you dont know about Us magazine it makes People Magazine look like Harpers. Its the only magazine I was ever embarrassed to buy. Id actually pad my magazine purchases with other a smarter magazines just so the cashier wouldn't think less of me.

Us Weekly isnt a Magazine as much as it is pictures and captions. Thanks to Us Weekly I have the inside scoop about the fued between Clay and Ruben, How much Leeza Gibbons pays her yoga instructor and how Demi and Ashton stay so cool but so hot at the same time. The worst part is, I dont care about any of those people. But it 's too late for logic, I've read detailed reports on celebrity posture, a photo essay on Shania Twain buying an air conditioner (These aren't jokes, these are real features) and I devoured their gossip section which isnt even gossip! Here Ill show you:

"Antonio Banderas was seen having a romantic dinner at the Beverly Hills Hotel with Melanie Griffith, his wife." How is that gossip!? Its his wife.

I'm hooked.

Us Magazine is Crack and Scientology mixed into one and I want more.

My Summer Thoughts

Originally uploaded by Paulscheer.
Hmm.. I liked The Italian Job, I wish I had a Mini Cooper

Shorts make me look like a tourist

Hogwarts seems like fun...but they do get a lot of homework

If I use my A/C all day today and then don't use it the rest of the week it's like I only used the A/C 2 hours a day for the entire week...Not Bad

Liz Phair has a lot of sex!

I wonder what it would be like to get your tonsils out...I bet they give you shitty ice cream afterwards

Why are all the contestants on Match Game morons?

If I had a baby it would be easy to vacation because everyone would want the baby to come out to there nice summer houses

Toasted Almond or Rocket Pop?

I wonder if Lionel Ritchie still has that clay bust from that video with the Blind Girl. She was a good sculptor for a blindy"

Should I buy the Popeye DVD..It's really cheap.

My Promise to You

Originally uploaded by Paulscheer.
I just got a puppy and he's great! But I haven't been so vigiliant about updating the website but I don't want you to worry about me changing. So I promise you the following...

1. I'll never have the Puppy refer to me as "Daddy".

2. I won't carry the puppy around in a pouch that hangs off my chest nor will I find it cute to put him in a baby stroller.

3. I won't post more than this picture of the puppy on my website nor will I dedicate a picture gallery to him.

4. I will not dress him in any outfits including tartan sweaters and yellow rain slickers.This goes double for Halloween Costumes.

5. When other dog owners ask the dog his name I'll remain silent until they ask me his name, because dogs can't talk (unless you have a dog from that Cuba Gooding Jr. Movie, which I don't have)

6. I won't buy a T-Shirt that has a picture of my dog scanned on to it with any pithy slogan (i.e. Best Friends or Together Forever)

7. Finally, I promise that I'll never plan, prepare or take part in, a Dog Wedding or Dog Birthday Party.

I Reccomend...XBox Live

xbox live
Originally uploaded by Paulscheer.
I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I have gone LIVE! For those of you who don't know, Xbox (The Video Game System) has a new feature that lets you play video games against other people all around the world, and you can talk to them in real time, like a telephone. Now Im not going to pretend that this is an interesting novelty, a chance to listen to nerdy people worldwide or even that its a great a way to make long distance phone calls without paying. No Sir! I do this because as I recently found out, Im an all out nerd.

I didnt think I was nerd. For the first few weeks I was laughing at all the nerds and secretly making fun of them to myself. I was above this juvenile play; I was better than them. That was until three weeks ago at about 4:30AM when I was playing Unreal Tournament LIVE! and I was talking to a kid, who goes by the moniker DeathKilla about how Canadians are rude. By the way a lot of the players are easily 10 years younger than me. As we were speaking and playing I couldnt control myself, after a particularly good shot, I excitedly told him Nice Frag DudeĀ and I meant it! (FYI: A Frag is a Kill) "What?!! Thats not me," I said. Frag. I dont even know how that word got into my vernacular. It was at that moment that it occurred to me, my inner nerd has shown himself. I couldnt deny it any longer. Its 4:30AM and Im talking to a kid who just left Junior High, about the social differences of Canadians and Americans Video Game playing techniques. It struck me I had a choice. I could just pretend it never happened and sign off or I could continue on. I played for another hour!

Now I cant stop. Im addicted. Im also not that good of a player. So if you ever have the chance to go LIVE! Look for Monkey MD (Thats my screen name, Dr Monkey was taken). I'll be there with all the nerds.

My Opinion...The War in Iraq

Manny Mo
Originally uploaded by Paulscheer.
Lately it seems like everyone is talking about The War and President Bush but in all this hype, the media is failing to celebrate a truly important person, someone who can bring order back into our world, Emmanuel Lewis. You have to love this guy, he is the new comeback kid whose actually an adult but still looks like a kid. Its down right un-American to dislike Manny Moe. First of all he loves to Dance. Think about it, if all our World Leaders broke into dancing as much as Manny does, well just forget about War. Instead of finding nukes, we'd be trying to uncover new dance moves. Now I dont take The War on Terrorism Lightly and neither does Manny, thats why he carries a large hunting knife at his side at all times (he says its for camping, but how many times do you get in a camping situation without your knowledge, its a flimsy excuse but you cant get mad at him because hes just sooo cute). I think we should harken back to the days when Americans walked softly and carried a big stick and with Manny Moe in Charge it would be Dance Smoothly and carry a large knife. With Emmanuel Lewis, there is Peace.

Wednesday, December 8

I Reccomend...Good Day Live

Good Day Live
Originally uploaded by Paulscheer.
"Good Day Live" is The Best Show on Television! Jillian, Dorothy and Steve take your through the day's most important news stories, from what it takes to be a Playboy Model, to what the Supermarket Tabloid Headlines are saying, and even all this Boring Iraq stuff too. I've never seen any newscast seamlessly transition between a brutal double homicide into what shoes are hot for Fall better than this LA based news team. If you're home from 12PM-1PM every day, there is no excuse not to watch this show. It's journalism with bias and without professionalism. It's Awesome!

Find Out When it's on in Your Area

I Beg You!

Lockhorns Dinner
Originally uploaded by Paulscheer.
Please Stop your Fighting and your Nitpicking, it hurts everyone and it makes your friends very uncomfortable.

It never ends with you two, every day you're at it again. What did you see in each other in the 1st place? Aren't you ever happy?

America is your abused child and we say to you Get divorced, please! It hurts to see you in so much pain.

Next Month: Andy Capp Intervention. (He's not a lovable drunk anymore-he has a serious problem)

I Reccomend....Fastlane

Originally uploaded by Paulscheer.
Do you Like Guns? How about Fast Cars? What about hip Undercover Cops? Or Jump Cuts, lots and lots of Jump Cuts?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then Fastlane is the show for you! If you answered no to all of these questions then Fastlane is still the show for you. Fastlane is Awesome!

It's Charlie's Angels (The Movie!--of course) on Speed (not the Movie, the drug). The premise is simple: Deaquon and Van (The Cops) get a lot of money, cool cars, and amazing houses in the Hollywood Hills to go undercover to bust some crazy illegal stuff that goes on in LA. For instance a few weeks ago they opened their own nightclub to bring down a huge underground Ectasy Factory, and before that they infiltrated a Motorcyle Gang of Female Diamond Thieves to get even for killing Deaquon's brother, one week they even "pretended" to kill a bunch of people in a Strip Club just to get in good with the Russian Mafia. How can you not like that? Plus Tiffani Amber Theissen (Saved by the Bell) is their Boss! Awesome.

We know these cops are so cool because even though they hate crime they still love to party!

Plus, you'll never get bored watching it. In one episode I counted 30 jump cuts in ONE minute, that means that there was a different shot every 2 seconds, it cuts so fast it probably could cause seizures in some people.

That's a TV show.

How can you not like this show? You have to watch it

(Editors Note: Unfortunately America Actively Disagreed with Me and Cancelled the show in the middle of a cliff hanger-Damn You Neilsen Families!)

My Prediction

Frank Pic
Originally uploaded by Paulscheer.
I Predict....

That Frank will be the Winner of the MTV's Real World: Las Vegas.

I know the Real World doesn't have a Winner or Prizes, but I guarantee that this guy is going to take home the Million Dollars and that Car. You deserve it!

Go Frank!!

Get that Car and Put on a Shirt!

My 1st Post...An Explanation

So this is my Blog, Welcome.

Now you'll notice some of these posts seem old, well they are. I'm updating my website and I'm bringing over every post from my old site. So until I catch up it might appear like I'm in a 2 year time warp.

I say the best way to enjoy these posts is just pretend that you got hit hard on the head on your way home from YMCA and you woke up 2 years in the future with Amnesia and this is your only outlet to learn what you missed.

Man I wish I had Amnesia. You're lucky!