Tuesday, April 19

These Bears Love to Wipe Their Asses

What the Screw Charmin? Your Latest Ad Campaign has Gone too Far!

Seriously! What's Worse; Admitting that Toilet Paper is for Dirty Bums or Watching a Bear Take a Crap?

I say the later, It's like I stumbled on the one of the Berenstain Bears' Fetish Magazines.

Frankly, I'm Disturbed and I Feel Dirty.

Who are we fooling? We all know what Toilet Paper is for but we never see it used properly. In commercials people are constantly rubbing it on their faces and feeling this ecstasy filed moment of pleasure (by the way I have never had the urge to wipe toilet paper on my face-I hope I'm not alone in that). Really the only people we consistently see using Toilet Paper in commercials are Toddlers, Cute Puppies and of course the above mentioned Cartoon Bears. Personally I'd rather take an endorsement from real people, people with IBS, people who know.

Plus this wrecks my whole view of bears. I want bears to be ferocious animals who rip things up and destroy people, instead these bears spend their time finding a tree with a lone branch on it where they can stick a roll of toilet paper. C'mon they should killing campers. Before you know it Bears are going to be using utensils as they rip out your intestines and if that's the world we are going to be apart of then I don't want to be involved in it. If I was a bear I wouldn't be too good rub my ass against tree, it might even be fun, except for all the bark and stuff.

So if you see a bear tell them stop wiping their asses with toilet paper and then run. Because chances are they will kill you, because bears hate confrontation just as much as they hate being lectured about hygiene.


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