Tuesday, September 27

Dr. Dan and Dr. Doug Changed My Life!

Last Night I was Lucky Enough to attend a Free Lecture From Dr. Dan and Dr. Doug, The Country's Premiere Problem Solvers. You Might Recognize them from their 1st New York Times Bestseller:

Not accredited by any institution, Dr. Dan and Dr. Doug are not really even Doctors (in the Legal Sense) but they have a combined 40 Year Degree from the School of Hard Knocks and Dr. Dan broke CD Cases with his Bare Hands! Which is something you can learn to do in their follow up book:

They describe themselves as a mix of Dr. Phil, Tony Robbins, and Robin Williams' Character From Good Will Hunting, Dr. Dan and Dr. Doug told me the life lessons I always knew but failed to realize. Their helpful POWER TIPS have me looking at the World in a Whole New Way.

"If you have a Choice Between a Sandwich and a Muffin, Choose the Sandwich"

"When you're eating blueberries, you're only a 3 steps away from fingerbanging a muffin."

And Most Importantly

"Life Is! So Choose Now. Options are Success Which Will Embrace Today. Regret is the Bond that Fuses Doubt and we want to Attain Freedom from Our Mental Jails. Life?"

I've also learned that I need to be open to Suggestion. Asking Questions is like Burning Tires, when someone is trying to sell you a car. If I want to succeed in this life I need to stop fingerbanging Grapefruits and start using my Body when I don't have a Boogie Board.

Aggression is Good! So Everyday I'm going to Find Someone and tell them

"If it Came Down to It, I'll Stab You with a Steak Knife"


(Blank) You're On My Shit List!"

Normally there Lectures cost the same amount of Money that you have in your bank account and there Books go for a whopping $79.99, but they only charged us $500 and they also showed us their new Book for Children:

From Today Forward I'll going to start being my own Soul Janitor.


At 3:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 6:21 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

paul i suggest you use word verification so that you dont get spam.

p.s. funny you are

At 1:58 PM, Anonymous ZNB said...

Hilarious. I'll always choose the sandwich from now on.

Nice job.

At 10:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr. Doug? Where have I heard that before?

At 11:42 PM, Anonymous Owl Movement said...

muffins. the sluts of the breakfest circuit.


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