Wednesday, March 8

BEWARE OF THE GRAPPLE

Have you ever seen something crazy and totally unneccessary at the Supermarket, like Cheese and Bacon Stuffed Hotdogs and thought to yourself, "Ugh, who buys this Crap?"

Well the Answer is...Me, "I buy that Crap!"

Last Night at Ralph's, I saw "Grapple"...It's a tie-in with the movie Chicken Little and it's a Grape Flavored Apple....So of course I bought it no questions asked.


Now I thought this was going to be Delicious!

I imagined that a brilliant scientist figured out a way to inject the flavor of a grape into an apple, like the way you do with Vodka and Oranges. But I was horribly, horribly mistaken!

This thing was Gross, It tasted just like...an Apple. Yuck! If I wanted to be healthy I would get Quaker Instant Oatmeal with Gummi Dinosaurs.

I wanted a Taste Sensation of 2 Fruits in one. But instead I got an Apple sprayed down with about a Quart of Grape Juice Concentrate. The Entire Apple was a sticky mess it was like touching the used legos of my slobbering nephew.

I guess the idea is, that the skin tastes like an Apple and the inside is an Apple...LAME!

So Beware of the "Grapple", also as a general rule beware of any produce that has been flavor enchanced, I think that's a good rule, I learned the hard way.

Even though the Grapple was bad, that won't stop me from buying other Zach Braff (the voice of Chicken Little) related food stuffs, like Garden State Pudding Pops..."I got a Chocolate Peter Sarsgaard but I really wanted a Vanilla Ian Holm."

By the way, I didn't see Chicken Little, are there Grape Flavored Apples in it? It would be even better if there wasn't. COMMERCE!

3 Comments:

At 11:30 AM, Anonymous Angela said...

I saw the movie and I don't remember there being grape apples.

 
At 11:40 AM, Anonymous Worker #3116 said...

There are too many instructions with the Grapple. "Say Grape-L". FUCK YOU! That is already too much work. And also this: "Looks like an apple. Tastes like a grape." NO CITATION! Who is saying this? Chicken Little is an unreliable narrator. And why is he holding a microphone? And why is his eye messed up? Is he a chicken Thom Yorke? Grapple is blowing my miiiind.

 
At 11:48 AM, Anonymous cath said...

I saw those at Albertson's and bing the marketer's dream that I am, I almost bought them. But they're like 5 bucks. And I could get so much more for $5, like...grapes AND apples!

 

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