Monday, April 10

Cool Things My Mom Threw Out

This past weekend, I was contemplating buying a PSP and it got me thinking about all the videogame systems I've owned in the past. I always seemed to buy the ones no one else played I bought like the Lynx, 3Do, Sega CD, Jaguar and the ultimate underdog videogame system, ColecoVision...That's Right, When everyone was playing Krull on Atari I was playing my Coleco Vision with it's Bulky Add-On Steering Wheel and Gas Pedal Contraption that only worked for one game, Pole Position.

I'd love to play it now but I realized it's fate was the same as many of my cool toys, thrown away by my mom. So this now officially starts a new blog column..."Cool Things My Mom Threw Out".

One of Those Cool Things was My Favorite Coleco Game Smurf: Rescue in Gargamel's Castle.

"F! Sam Fischer" Smurf was the First Video Game Covert Operative. Just Read The Instructions:
That's The Whole Game, If My Memory Serves Me Correct, It Took about 3 Minutes of Jumping over Strategically Placed Fences until you reached Gargamel's Castle, Climbed a Wall, Rescued Smurfette and That was It. Then You Repeated the Same Exact Board until You Were Bored and I Loved it. The only things that changed was the level indicator in the upper left hand corner. If you still think it sounds too hard, don't worry, because in case you were wondering Gargamel and Azarel were never home, so you never had any interference.

Also Note How You Control "Smurf", Not Vanity, Pappa, Handy or Brainy, He's Just a Nameless, Non Adjective Described Smurf. But You Didn't Care!

200 Points For Jumping...Holy Shit That's Easy and Great Smurf Cardio too Boot.

I'll Leave You with this...If Smurfs are like Kids Then I'm just realizing now that Gargamel might have been the world's first cartoon pedophile. He was like that Bicycle Repair shop owner on that Very Special Episode of Different Strokes!


At 11:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least your mom let you have a Coleco. My parents finally caved in and got me an Atari 2600 in 1994. I played the shit out of it just to spite them.

At 12:32 PM, Blogger somethingfresh said...

My sisters and I blame my mother for the loss of our childhood because she is one woman who loves her garage sale. Man I remember the day I found out she sold my entire Maple Town set. Does anyone even remember Maple Town? Sure I never played with it, but I was so proud that I owned everything one could own in the world of Maple Town. My parents spent so much money on that set and then she goes and sells it for a measly $20. That makes no sense. And now I'm depressed just thinking about it.

At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i thought the smurfs were like over 100 years old... and that's why gargamel was so obsessed with them. he wanted to prolong his life by eating smurfs. smurfy!


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