Friday, July 21

These Park Rangers are Better Than You!


The Upright Citizens Brigade at Central Park Summerstage was a Huge Success, with a sold out crowd of over 5,000 people we were really excited to perform. Unfortunately Rob Huebel and I were unable to host the show because we suffered from an extreme case of "Heat Exhaustion". Luckily the Head Central Park, Park Rangers, Gary Ann St. Clair and Jim Berdue were able to able diagnose our condition as being "LA Douchebags" and they finally agreed to take over hosting duties for us after repeatedly calling us both "huge pussies" for about an hour. We watched from the sidelines with huge bottles Vitamin Water (mine was 50 cent's Grape Juice which according to the label gives 100% of grape your body needs daily).

The Park Rangers were really informative, we all learned a lot. For example did you know there are over 750,000 deaths in Central Park each summer? Which means every other visitor in Central Park will end up dead (or horrible disfigured) in a park related accident from things like rogue frisbees to the throat, horse and carriage tramplings and most deadly those little sailboats flying out of the boat basin and fatally hitting people in the groin and labias.

So to prevent these accidents St. Clair and Berdue led the audience through some stretches...

This one was called Hard Core and it helped Strengthen Your Core


While This one was called, "Back to Basics" and it was a simple stretching exercise.

There were so many great acts that night, including Todd Barry, Sean Conroy, Rebecca Drysdale, Kristin Schaall, Jackie Clarke, and Aziz Ansari.

Unfortunately Jon Glaser could be there because he was too busy having his wife finger his asshole, but he sent a note and a picture.

J.D. Salinger even stopped by, as he is a huge fan of the Titte Brothers.

Unfortunately the Titte Brothers didn't like Jim Berdue too much as they shot him in the knee...I guess that's show business.

The Park Rangers also announced in an effort to make Central Park more "Hip/Extreme" they would rename certain areas...For example:

Sheeps Meadow is now called Fingerbang Fields
The Children's Carousel is now called DeathCirle
Strawberry Fields will now be called The Limp Bisquit Memorial Arboreteum
and Finally Beleveder Castle will Now be know as DRAGON CUM CASTLE

All in All it was a Fun Night!
(Thanks to theapiary.org for the amazing photos)

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