Monday, April 2

Could This Be the Most Insane Movie Ever?

(Taken from an Actual Recording)

Pitch Guy: The movie is called Firehouse Dog

Studio Guy: I Love it. Is it about a dog who lives in a Firehouse?

PG: No. It's about a celebrity dog, who is a super famous actor.

SG: How Famous?

PG: He has a red carpet leading to his trailer.

SG: Interesting and believable. Continue..

PG: Okay, so while shooting his latest film "Terrier at 20,000 Feet"

SG: What's it about?

PG: Honestly it's a rip off of Air Force One, anyway his parachute doesn't open and he lands in a truck of tomatoes and he is left to fend for himself on the streets because no one recognizes him.

SG: Why?

PG: Because his toupee has been ripped off in the crash landing.

SG: Now it makes sense, Dog look so different without their toupees, I love it.

PG: So the dog is lost on the streets, the pound tries to capture him, but he's so good at stunts he alludes them by doing elaborate and some might say unneccesary flips.

SG: You can't have enough unneccessary flips.

PG: Thank God you said that.

SG: Tell me what about this firehouse?

PG: Glad you asked..There is this Dad, someone like Aidan Quinn but not as famous. His wife is dead and he has a son....And he's a fireman!

SG: Wait, is this the same movie?

PG: Yup.

SG: Great.

PG: And by the way, get this, the fireman, doesn't know how to use a firepole.

SG: HAHA...What about the dog?

PG: Right. Good point. The son is lonely and one day is attacked by the stunt dog. The dog burps in the lonely kid's face and they become friends. So he takes the dog home.

SG: Ah, to the firehouse.

PG: No. He takes him home to a normal house.

SG: But..the title.

PG: Wait for it. Anyway the dog loves beef jerky but the Dad has control issues and wants the dog out of his house ASAP.

SG: Touching.

PG: I know. So while putting up flyers for a FOUND dog, the dog does some crazy stunts on a skateboard in a school parking lot. Which involves some more unneccesary flips. The kid says, "What else you got?" and him and the dog skateboard to a Marroon 5 song.

SG: PERFECT. Maybe Marroon 5 is too hip though we need something less recognizable.

PG: I'm on it. Anyway the Dad caves in and lets his son keep the dog and then the dog visits the Dad at firehouse and uses the firepole

SG: Is that possible?

PG: I don't know. Anyway the dog starts fighting fires and with no training whatsoever the dog saves the day the 1st time he goes to a fire. The dad loves the dog and steals him from his son. The Mayor gives the dog the key to the city

SG: What about the boy?

PG: Uh...Right..He falls in love. With some girl that we establish late in the 3rd act.

SG: Then what happens?

PG: I don't know. The dog goes back to Hollywood makes a movie about his adventures and calls it..... "Firehouse Dog".

SG: Perfection.

PG: So how much of this crack do you want?

SG: How about a kilo.

PG: Great. Here's the Crack and here's my Script.



At 9:54 PM, Blogger Jane said...

Look out Airbud!
This dogs sniffing for a
Puppies Choice Award.

p.s. I heart Crack

At 10:55 PM, Blogger Brandie said...

Seriously... going to sweep the award circuit next year. The mall in Glendale is covered in giant posters of this movie, I want one badly. I am so there on opening day, bucket in hand, to catch my brain when it explodes from all the awesome.


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