Tuesday, May 1

Exclusive: Tom Selleck Hates Human Giant

Ali and Frazier
Jay Z and Nas
Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump
and now...

For far too long Human Giant has kept our mouths shut on the issue of Tom Selleck. But no more! We are finally breaking the silence. We have to let the world know what we know about Mr. Tom Selleck (aka Magnum P.I.).

Earlier this year Human Giant approached Tom Selleck about appearing in our show. He said, "No!" Wow, seems like Tom Selleck has a bad case of the "Go Fuck Yourself Human Giants" But guess what? We won't stand for it.

Tom Selleck This is WAR!

Apparently Tom Selleck thinks he is better than us. Now you might be thinking, "Wait a second, Tom Selleck just said he wouldn't appear in your show, that doesn't make him a bad dude." Really? Well let me put it this way, if Tom won't do Human Giant a favor, then chances are he won't do YOU a favor. Case in Point, Tom Selleck is a Bad Dude!

Plus I heard through a friend of a friend, who knew a guy, who once saw Tom Selleck at a Best Buy and he said that Tom hit a toddler in the head with a wireless router. He then walked out of the store with a unpaid for giant Plasma TV under his arm. When security tried to stop him, he grabbed his junk and said, "Suck it Bitches!" and that's a True Story.

Tom Selleck You Can't Push us Around Anymore!

If you have some photoshop skills I encourage you to make your own Anti-Tom Selleck Propaganda. Let the world know where you stand on the issue of Tom Selleck.
Try These Sample Phrases (Or Make Up Your Own)

  • Tom Selleck Hates Me!
  • Tom Selleck Hates You!
  • Tom Selleck Thinks He's Better Than You
  • Tom Selleck Forgot My Birthday...On Purpose.
  • Tom Selleck is Not My Friend
  • Tom Selleck Thought Hitler was a Cool Dude
  • Tom Selleck is German for "Go Fuck Yourself"
  • "Quigley Down Under" Sucks!

Stay Tuned. This is only Day One. We won't Stop until Tom Selleck agrees to do our Sketch. In the Meantime Share your Selleck Stories and Anti-Tom Selleck Propaganda Pictures in the Comment Section.

For Further Explanation Watch Human Giant's Appearance on Carson Daly


At 12:47 AM, Anonymous Jeff said...

This is what I think of Selleck!

At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

new link on the video???

At 3:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...



Post a Comment

<< Home