The Secret Recipes & Private Dreams of Paul Scheer

My Favorite Posts (Dec 2004-Nov 2007)

2007-12-16T03:58:00.000-05:00

Since I redesigned my website, I retired this blog, but let's take a look back, shall we, at all the good times we had together. (*Please Note when I transfered my blog I lost quite a few pictures, one day I hope to fix that, but for the time being imagine great pictures.)

Here's Some of My Favorite Blog Posts Since 2004

My Life

Essays

Photo Essays

My Trip to the 2007 VMA Awards
Iraq Day's 3-4-5- 6
My Trip to the Emmys
Las Vegas Night One Recap: What I Learned
SXSW 2006 Day 1-2-3-4

Pop Culture

Paul is Trying out Tumblr

2007-11-21T16:12:00.000-05:00

So I've decided to maybe switch blogs...join me for the test drive of my new Tumblr blog...Let's see what happens when I do more frequent shorter blogs.

Paul’s New Tumblr blog...Sign up for the RSS Feed.

Great Writer's Strike Video

2007-11-21T14:52:00.001-05:00

The Hills Recap in 30 Seconds

2007-11-16T17:56:00.001-05:00

My Kid Nation Episode Recap

2007-11-15T15:31:00.001-05:00

Missed Kid Nation Last Night...Read My Recap on College Humor

Human Giant Halloween Costume Contest with Prizes

2007-10-30T01:02:00.001-04:00

HUMAN GIANT COSTUME CONTEST!

We've gotten some emails from people telling us that they are dressing up as Human Giant characters for Halloween. Are you? If so, send us a picture of yourself in costume. We'll post our favorite entries and pick a winner, who will get a signed Human Giant Promo DVD, unavailable anywhere else!

Attach a photo to an email and send it to thehumangiant@gmail.com

First Picture From Lost Season 4

2007-10-27T13:20:00.001-04:00

What the Hell?
Another Plane!
Awesome!

Set Your Tivos For This Week's Episode of "30 Rock"

2007-10-23T22:11:00.000-04:00

I know everyone is really bummed out over the fact that David Copperfield might be an alleged rapist, but I've got the cure to your raping magician blues... I'll be a guest this week on one of my favorite shows "30 Rock." The episode I'm in airs this Thursday (10/25) on NBC at 8:30PM, it's called "Rosemary's Baby" and it has Carrie Fisher into it. So yeah take that David Copperfield.

By the way sorry for the lack of blog posts...Human Giant Season 2 is in full swing and it's been tough to do anything other than trying on Wigs and Moustaches. But don't take my word for it, check out the Human Giant Blog, which we are updating daily.

Human Giant Videos are Back Online

2007-10-18T00:41:00.000-04:00

I'm gotten a lot of emails about our videos being taken down off of You Tube
and after some legal wrangling we just got them all back up.

Human Giant is now on Funny or Die
and
You Tube

(25 Shorts from Season 1)
This Time They won't be removed by Viacom...We Promise.

Human Giant Season 2: The Blog

2007-10-15T11:35:00.000-04:00

We started Shooting the Second Season of Human Giant this Week and we even started a fancy new blog for it. So instead of posting photos and videos here, everything will be on TheHumanGiant.com

Almost Daily Updates and it even has an RSS Feed.

Sweet!

Why Life on "The Hills" is So Much Better than Your Life

2007-10-01T12:29:00.000-04:00

As I previously mentioned, I am addicted to "The Hills." Feel free to mock me, because 2 weeks ago I would have mocked me too. BUT THAT'S UNTIL I WATCHED IT. Oh it's so good.

So over the last 3 weeks, I was a Hills junky I watched like 2 1/2 seasons of the show (which sounds like a lot, but each episode is like 15 minutes long. So it was only about 10 hours of my life wasted, which is still is really embarrassing but you know what I always say, I can't get enough of that damn Jason Wahler) Now I'm hooked, that or I'm totally brainwashed by LC's giant sunglasses. Either way I can't wait to see what happens next and now whenever I hear Natasha Bedingfield's 'Unwritten' (The Hills Theme song) I think of how Heidi and Lauren were once best friends and now enemies and how Audrina once thought she liked a guy and then realized she didn't and how every problem that these girls encounter can be so easily solved by going out and getting drunk. Yes. Yes. The Hills are alive with the arrogance of youth and I Love it!

5 Ways That Life on the "The Hills" Kicks Your Life's Ass!

1.) No significant other in your life is as supportive as Spencer. He kinda borders on that fine line of being a supportive boyfriend and being Christian Bale's character from American Psycho. If this show continues for a few more seasons I guarantee you he will murder someone with an axe while listening to Huey Lewis and the News and that will make things weird between him and Heidi for at least half and episode.

2.) Because you never met anyone who works at Teen Vogue. Check this out, fifty percent of the 4 person cast of The Hills works there, so yeah suck it. LC and Whitney are like the Woodward and Bernstein of Fashion Journalism. Even though they work in a closet and Whitney's promotion only really entailed moving her desk to a different angle of the office she was previously in, these girls are breaking the big stories. They were definitely the 1st people I knew who blew the lid off the fact, that the lead singer from Red Jumpsuit Apparatus totally wears ladies, size 8 jeans. Yeah. You probably don't even know who Red Jumpsuit Apparatus even are.

3.) Unlike you, the dudes on the show, really care about their appearances. You probably never think about if your gold chain matches your belt buckle. These guys do. They have to, because if they go out in the wrong v-neck black sleeve-less T with contrasting white baseball cap and then see someone else in the same one, things are going to get AWKWARD and Quick. It doesn't stop there these guys have relationships figured out too. Did you know that some of the dudes on The Hills have 2 separate phones? One for Bros and One for Ho's. That's smart, in one move that eliminates even looking at call waiting. Take that Dr. Keith Albow. That's real relationship advice!

4.) You Don't Know Brent Bolthouse! They Do. Yes, The Brent Bolthouse... of Bolt House Productions. If event/party planning was a race, Brent Bolthouse would be in that race.

5.) Because you don't hang out in the upstairs VIP room at Les Deux. You are probably on the main floor mingling with Hollywood wannabees and LA Losers. Instead when you are on The Hills you get an all-access pass to the upstairs which is a world populated by Equinox trainers, Bruce Jenner's offspring, and the distinct smell of cocaine mixed with Old Spice Endurance Bodywash. Now that's VIP and that's THE HILLS! Welcome Bitches!

My Favorite Show is Coming Back

2007-09-24T15:57:00.000-04:00

Never has Microsoft Word made me So Giddy with Anticipation!

If You've Never Watched...Let this Article By Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, About a Boy) Convince you too.

David Simon and Nick Hornby

My Trip to the VMA's

2007-09-21T02:29:00.001-04:00

Sorry about the lack of posts over the last month. We've been working hard on Human Giant Season 2. Plus and I'm embarrassed to admit this, I got addicted to watching old episodes of "Laguna Beach" (Season 2) and "The Hills" which I never saw before, and I think is AMAZING! (but more on that in another post).

So last week we went to the VMA's...We had Front Row Seats and it was Redonkulous! Somehow we managed to get seated between Lauren and the girls from "The Hills" and 50 Cent. We had no business being that close but it was Awesome!.

As you entered into the auditorium they made you take a spin on the MTV slot machine and if you won, you got to produce Ashlee Simpson's new album. Pretty Sweet!

Everyone was talking about Britney's Performance at the VMA's. Here's a first hand reaction to it from Human Giant as it happens LIVE. Look for a very non plussed 50 Cent watching it in the background.

The Illusionators Meet The Mindfreak.

Both parties left unscathed but he did turn our director Jason Woliner into a digital camera to take this picture. That was a pretty awesome trick.

What the F!? Dr. Dre got JACKED!

Look at his Thigh Muscles , they are bigger than my Torso. I heard backstage he was crushing cattle skulls with his Calfs just for Fun.

Ok, I'm a little embarassed to admit this, but JT is pretty awesome. I got so excited when he sang and danced in front of us that I threw a pair of my Hanes Boxer Briefs at him, I still haven't heard back from him but I haven't given up hope. We had a thing. We connected. I swear. We'll be best friends forever! JT! PLEASE! CALL ME (my number is inside the elastic waistband)

Finally, no Trip to Vegas or the VMAs would be complete without seeing someone "Make it Rain" and that's exactly what Akon did. Now If you know anything about me, you know I'm a Huge Club Guy (hence my love for Shiny Shirts) and you also know that I love it when rappers visit the clubs I'm at and "make it rain", so by default this has to be my favorite video of all time. Just picture being their and getting a chance to grab a FREE One dollar bill. Holy crap, That's awesome. Think of all the options you'd have on the Wendy's Value Menu. By the way, I'm pretty sure this is one of the levels of Hell that Dante wrote about.

USO Tour (Day 6) Brassfeild Mora

2007-08-24T11:51:00.000-04:00

This was our final day of USO Shows. We ended up in Central Iraq with an elite group of soldiers at Brassfield Mora. It was 1st and only indoor show of the entire trip and we performed it in a mess hall under the watchful eye of it's cook "Big Grease"...

So that's it for all the pictures from Iraq. We all had an incredible time and without getting too schmaltzy everyone that accompanied us and all the soldiers we met were absolutely amazing. These men and woman who are over in Iraq and Kuwait are truly outstanding human beings and I felt lucky to meet them. I can't wait to go back again.

On a side note I just want to express my utter gratitude to the USO. Who I learned late in the trip is not funded by the government and I never realized that. They do an amazingly selfless job and provide soldiers with much needed MWR (Moral, Welfare and Recreation). They provide, plan and organize everything from booking these types of shows to getting companies to donate calling cards (and much, much more). The USO is always trying to bring some fun into these soldiers lives while they are in dangerous spots and that's awesome. For many of the soldiers we were the 1st type of show they had gotten in over 12 months. So kudos to them for making that happen. They are a great org and if you every have a chance to do something with them, I highly reccomend it.

Thank for reading...

USO Tour (Day 5) Northern Iraq - FOB McHenry

2007-08-23T12:21:00.000-04:00

On Day 5 we started visiting smaller bases or FOB's (Forward Operating Bases) these bases are where a lot of the action in the war is happening. These small camps were incredibly different bases then what we previously visited, it's a purely soldier run. Which means everything from cooking the food all the way down to cleaning the latrines it's apart of these soldier's responsibilities along of course with their daily missions of fighting a war...Meet the Wolfhounds

Here's a short compilation of Blackhawk Helicopter Footage that I took over Iraq

USO (Day 4) Iraq/Kuwait/Iraq

2007-08-22T12:10:00.000-04:00

Day 4 was a kinda of a bust...We spent about 15 hours trying to get from Camp Bucca in Southern Iraq back to Kuwait so we could catch a connecting flight on a c-130 to go back to Northern Iraq.

(FYI: There are captions under the slideshow photos, I think you have to click the text button)

Kuwait is a very advanced country, some might say futuristic, as shown here by use of Dippin' Dots, Ice Cream of the Future, Vending Machine.

One of the Bases let us accompany the soldiers to a firing range where they let us test out a whole bunch of weapons

USO Tour (Day 3) Iraq (Camp Bucca)

2007-08-21T11:29:00.000-04:00

On Day 3 we left Kuwait and entered Iraq. Our first stop was Camp Bucca, the largest prison in the world...

If you have trouble with the slide show click here

USO Tour (Day 3) Iraq - Camp Bucca

Day 4 Tomorrow...

Back From Iraq...

2007-08-20T01:09:00.000-04:00

We made it back from our week in Iraq without incident and it was truly amazing. We met amazing soldiers, rode in Blackhawk helicopters, shot tanks, and watched DVD Bootlegs of Rush Hour 3, This place had everything. Big thanks to the USO, who really made this trip unbelievable.

However, my plan of picture and video blogging was severely hindered by the fact that Iraq's infrastructure doesn't really support high speed DSL. Who knew?

Throughout the week, I'll be posting pictures and videos from the trip, I have a ton.

In the meantime, watch The Daily Show all this week for Rob Riggle's reports from Iraq. They are going to be great.

USO Tour (Day 2)

2007-08-12T18:23:00.000-04:00

Here are some more photos from our USO Tour in the Persian Gulf...

1st Day in Kuwait...

2007-08-11T18:01:00.000-04:00

We just landed after 20 hours of Travel From LAX to Kuwait. It's a comfortable 120 outside and we had steaks at the gaucho grill. So far the most suprising thing about Kuwait, people are fans of "School for Scoundrels." i'm glad it translates.

Check out some of the 1st things we saw here....

Having Trouble Click Here...
Day 1

Anyone Know any good Restaurants in Bagdad?

2007-08-09T11:29:00.000-04:00

On Friday morning Rob Huebel, Rob Riggle, and Horatio Sanz and I will be shipping out to Iraq for over a week to do shows for the troops as part of the USO under the title "OPERATION: SMELL THE HEAT."

I haven't been to Iraq since I was a kid but I have fond memories of "Space Mountain" and "Mr. Toads Wild Ride" plus I love the Electric Parade...oh wait I think that's Disney World, I always getting those two confused. Disney has the rides and Iraq has a 130 degree daily temp, that's right.

It should be an amazing time, I'm equally parts excited and nervous, not necessarily about my safety but more about seeing what's going on over their 1st hand and not just staring in Wolf Blitzer's dreamy eyes as he tells me all about it on the Situation Room.

Just keep your fingers crossed that their are no Transformer attacks while we are their because I saw that Michael Bay documentary and those things are brutal.

Case in Point!

Also I just hope that these troops who are used to people like Kid Rock, Faith Hill, The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and Chuck Norris are going to be cool with a bunch of basic cable jackass entertaining them. Either way we are just really excited to hang out and say thanks to the troops who are busting their asses over their.

(By the way if you are in the Persian Gulf area or know anybody that is, the USO can give them details about our shows. The locations are secret, even to us...So check out the USO website for more info)

By the way, the coolest thing that I found out about the USO is that Gary Sinise travels over their all the time with with the Lt. Dan Band. I've never heard them, but if it's as good as Bubba Gump restaurant, I already love it.

Hopefully, I'll get a chance to photo and video blog while I'm over their, but I'm not exactly sure what the Internet connections will be like, so if this page isn't updated take a look at these pages while I'm gone...

My You Tube Page
My Photo Page

* Also check out my Guest Blogs about "Superbad" and the "Iron Sheik" over on TSOYA Blog. *

New Season of Human Giant Starts Jan 2008 and other Stuff

2007-08-06T19:26:00.000-04:00

Sorry for not blogging for a bit but I got a bad case of Shia Labeouf Fever and I was laid up for most of July, however it was much more charming then I expected.

So production on "Human Giant" Season 2 has officially started, we are looking towards an air date of Jan 2008...Now I know that may seem like awhile but when you think of it, it's only like 22 weeks...Actually yeah thats a pretty long time.

But if you want some new Human Giant stuff before then, I'm going to try to keep a production blog, so you can see what we are up too...Here's is official photo from the 2nd season.

Paul, Jerry Bruckheimer, Rob, and Aziz

As you can see we stepped it up a notch. Season 2 is all about Hanging with Bruckheimer.
(I'm pretty positive his suit jacket is more expensive then my rent)

Also this week I'll be guest blogging on one of my favorite websites MaximumFun.org while Jesse Thorn the always entertaining host of the best public radio show in the world "THE SOUND OF YOUNG AMERICA" takes a much deserved vacation. I'm lucky to be guest blogging along side the awesome Bill Hader (SNL) and the amazing Merlin Mann (43 Folders Blog).

And finally a few weeks ago I was asked to be a guest on Jason Nash's podcast "Guys with Feelings" Listen to it and hear all about how I got fired from the latest Eddie Murphy Movie, "Starship Dave."

More Soon....

And Now a Message From Reginal Vel Johnson (The Cop From Die Hard)

2007-06-27T22:25:00.000-04:00

Dear Bruce Willis,

What the Shit Man? Do I look like asshole? Because you keep wiping me to the side every chance you get. I mean C'MON! I can't believe you made another "Die Hard" movie without ME...Sgt. Al Fucking Powell. Need I remind you that I was the glue that held the 1st Die Hard movie together. People related to MY story. Need I remind you that without me you'd be a dead mother fucker. I'm the one who shot Karl. Me. I'm the hero of Die Hard. Not you.

Granted, I was pissed when I read Die Hard 2 and I only had a cameo role. I remember coming over your house and I trying to stab you with a pocket knife. But when I went to plunge the knife into your chest you easily disarmed me. Then I just broke down crying and you and Demi made me mint tea. You had your driver send me home. That was nice. I'm sorry about that. I mean how many times do I have to apologize for attempting to kill you.

But Damn, if you didn't screw me like whore in Thailand again when Die Hard 3 came out. Remember you called me up and said, next movie it's me and you. Then you go cast Samuel Jackson. SAM JACKSON! C'mon Dude. I act circles around that guy. Remember my dramatic monologue when I explained why I worked a desk and I said, "I shot a kid." That's drama. That's emotion. I am the master of acting. But yet all you see on every bus is "Yippee Yai Yeah M...." It should read "I shot a kid.-Die Hard 4"

I just read The Secret and it says I shouldn't hold a grudge, but damn it's real hard with you. You didn't even show up when me and Deavoreaux White, the dude who played you Limo Driver (Argyle) in Die Hard 1 did True West in Burbank at Senor Tacos. That was a great show. Holly Mclane showed up and so did the guy who played Mr. Takagi but he was drunk and very rude to the mexican waitstaff. Anyway I digress.

Basically I guess it was bullcrap when you said "Welcome to the Party Pal." Because You and I are not pals and your party is for 2 people. You and Your Ego!

Fuck You and Goodnight!

Sincerly,
Reginald Vel Johnson
"Al Powell from Die Hard"

My Favorite MySpace Spam Email

2007-06-21T12:31:00.002-04:00

This makes me laugh everytime I look at it. I love how "Chad" is so non-plussed and oddly resigned that the only thing he can do is send out an mass email to his friends about his "crazy"situation.

Personally I picture Chad living in a world where his roomate is constantly masturbating all around their apartment and it's like bad 80's sitcom like "Perfect Strangers" called, "Playing with each Other." The opening credits would be all about their crazy living situation as Chad trys to go about his normal life with his "crazy" roomate. You'd see him trying to find a box of cereal and then he turns around to to see his roomate using the cereal box to masturbate (shot tastefully of course) and he just shrugs and laughs while synthesized upbeat music plays. The closing credit shot would be late night in their apartment Chad is watching TV and sitting next to him is his roomate furiously masturbating, he looks over smiles then lifts the remote and clicks it and the screen goes to black, just like he's shutting off your TV. In my world this show is cancelled right after the opening credits.

Brief Update...

2007-06-02T15:41:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is the MTV Movie Awards hosted by Sarah Silverman and Human Giant has been invited to go, but there was a catch, we have text this service called Twitter. It's a new web thing, that's actually pretty cool it's like reading people's private texts. If you subscribe you get copied on every text we send.

Just text FOLLOW HUMANGIANT to 40404 or visit www.twitter.com to get started. It’s free. So seriously what do you have to lose. If you sign up you can can get texts from all of us (Rob, Aziz, Jason and I) throughout the night. Knowing us they'll probably all be about Fashion...You know how much we love what young hollywood is wearing. Ooh lala I love pant suits!

* Also Human Giant shot 13 special BRAND NEW MTV promos that will be airing during the MTV Movie Awards, We didn't write the spots but we think they turned out pretty well. So look out for those. I think they are only airing one time during the movie awards.*

Human Giant Wraps Season One But Before We Go...

2007-05-28T05:55:00.000-04:00

The 1st Season of Human Giant is now officially over. Boo! We just wanted to say, "Thanks so much for all your support and for watching us these past 8 weeks." Without you we'd have the same amount of viewers as Maury Povich's Dance Party USA and that's not good. You have been so supportive and we love it.We really appreciate all your emails, comments,downloads, etc.. We've been working on this show since late August 2006 and it's been so much fun to finally let people see it. We even have a whole bunch more stuff that we couldn't fit into Season 1, which means you'll have to wait till Season 2 but it will be worth it.

However, before you go, here's some extra stuff you might like...

MP3's

Over the past few weeks I've gotten a ton of email about releasing Mp3's of some of the original songs from the show. I finally rounded them all up. Download and Enjoy!

Old Fashion Fun
performed by Chris Anderson
Illusionators Theme "Majyck"
performed by The Kane Brothers
The Opening Theme to Spacelords
performed by The Kane Brothers

Sketches
Every sketch From Season 1 (Plus Highlights from the Marathon) can be found
HERE

Down with Selleck

The Anti-Tom Selleck photoshopping has been going so well that I have made a special album on My Myspace Page and the Human Giant's Myspace Page celebrating my favorite entries so far...So keep submitting, they are hilarious!

Fan Art and Videos

I also made a fan art section on the Myspace Human Giant Page. Everytime we get a new piece of fan art, I'll post it. So far the stuff we have gotten is pretty awesome. Thanks for making it.

Speaking of which here's my new favorite Human Giant Doritos Tribute Video

College Humor Prank

Rob and I helped out friend Streeter pull off a Prank in his Prank War.

If you think we were cruel, just watch the one they did before it HERE.

Season 2

Season 2 goes into production in the next few months and I'm guessing that will mean that it will hit MTV in early 2008. That's not official but that's my best guess, right now. I'll keep you updated.

Season 1 DVD Box Set

The 1st Season DVD has no official release date. However it's pretty safe to assume it will come out a few weeks before Season 2. So I'm guessing around Christmas. We are trying really hard to make it great with a lot of extras and commentary. We are also trying to figure out how to include the best moments from the 24 Hour marathon on the DVD too. Again as soon as I know, I'll let you know.

MTV Movie Awards
Human Giant also just shot a special MTV Promotional Campaign that will be airing only once during the MTV Movie Awards this Sunday (June 3rd, 2007 @ 8PM). We Shot about 12 commercials. We didn't write the spots and Jason didn't direct them, but the promo people at MTV did an awesome job with it. So hopefully they'll turn out to be funny.

That's all for now...More Stuff Soon.

LOST SEASON FINALE WAS INSANE!

2007-05-24T13:53:00.000-04:00

HOLY SHIT! That was awesome. The Lost Finale managed to be very fulling and ultimately gave little to no answers at the same time. How do they do that?

I apologize for my lack of LOST posts but frankly the show has been incredibly revealing and their haven't been too many secret things, besides this.. Everyone has seen this freez frame /screen cap of Jacob from a few weeks back, right?

I have no real info about Jacob, but it's pretty cool...

THE SEASON 3 FINALE
First let me admit the nerdiest thing ever. I actually figured out that Jack's flashback was actually a future forward when I saw the type of phone he was using. I was like, "C'mon prop department, that phone wasn't avail before the crash..wait a second...Holy Shit, he's off the island!" Then I sat upright on my couch for the rest of the 2 hours, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

Here's what I do know, in the future, Jack looks like Fidel Castro and Walt has aged 20 years in two seasons.

The Obituary: Who Died?

The first sentence of the article Jack carries around in the flash-forward seems to read, "Los Angeles, Man found dead in downtown loft [unreadable], The body of Jo.. [unreadable] ..Manhatten Rd, New York was discovered shortly after 4 a.m. in the.. [unreadable] of Grand Avenue. Ted.. [unreadable] ..man at The Tower.. [unreadable] .. heard loud noises.. [unreadable]..m's loft. Co.. [unreadable] ..entered the.. [unreadable] ..a beam in the.. [unreadable] ..[ac]cordin[g].. [unreadable].."
With some extrapolation, the second paragraph of the article can be read as describing a suicide: "Ted somebody, a watchman at The Tower, claims that he heard loud noises coming from the victim's loft. Concerned for the (resident's) safety, he entered the loft and discovered the body hanging from a beam in the ???room." The "loud noises" hint that it may not have been an actual suicide, but rather a murder staged to look like a suicide.
Possible reference to the just-announced Grand Avenue Project which would place the flash-forwards several years from now, possibly past the 2010 end-date of the show. (which would maybe explain Walt's aging, does time pass quicker off the island then on it? and if sop can Walt travel through time and space to deliver messages)

Some speculate the name on the obit is Jeremy Bentham. who's that? Apparently he invented the Panopticon. The Panopticon is a type of prison building designed by English philosopher Jeremy Bentham in the late eighteenth century. The concept of the design is to allow an observer to observe all prisoners without the prisoners being able to tell if they are being observed or not, thus conveying a "sentiment of an invisible omniscience." In his own words, Bentham described the Panopticon as "a new mode of obtaining power of mind over mind, in a quantity hitherto without example."

The Funeral Home

IThe name..is a anagram for Flash Forward..

Unanswered Questions
Here are a bunch of questions that don't have answere but are really good to think about. It hurts my head.

Flash-forward

Is Christian Shephard alive, or does Jack, in his unstable condition, believe that he is?
Why is Jack so set on returning to the island?
How did Jack and Kate get off the island?
Who is the "he" Kate mentions to Jack at the airport?
Why has Kate insisted that Jack not contact her?
During what time period did the flash forward occur?
Who was the woman Jack saved from the burning car?
Who was the funeral for, and why, after the news of their death, does Jack attempt suicide?
Who, if any, of the other Losties were able to get off the island?
Now rescued, has Jack begun to "believe" in the mysterious "powers" of the island?
If Naomi was telling the truth, and the outside world believed they had found Flight 815 and its cargo of corpses, how is their apparent return from the dead explained to the world?
How has Kate received immunity from prosecution upon returning to the "real" world?
With the season ending at the end of the "Flash-Forward" does this mean the series will continue in this "Flash-Forward" as main timeline?
- Will any further island events be flash-backs from the main timeline?

On the Island

Who was Naomi working for?
Why or how was the Looking Glass transmitting directly to Penny (or reverse) immediately after the jamming switch was deactivated.
If Penny didn't send the boat, why was she calling the island when Charlie deactivated the jamming device?
Even though Penny has been looking for Desmond (and perhaps the island), does she even know about the Dharma Initiative? How much?
Was Mikhail wounded or killed by the grenade detonation?
Where did Locke go after he left the main group of Losties at the end of the episode?
How or why did Juliet know about the signal jamming but not Mikail?
What is the Temple and why are The Others going there?
Who was the musician who programmed the key pad in the Looking Glass station?
Is "the musician" who programmed the key pad still on the island?
What assignment in Canada were Bonnie and Greta supposed to be on?
Why would The Others have any business in Canada?
What are the "forces stronger than anything it the Island has faced in many, many years" that Ben was warning Alex about?
Why does Tom disobey Ben?
How does Mikhail survive the harpoon? Is it related to the Island's supposed healing properties?
Could Charlie have sealed the radio room from the main room?
What happened between the time Danielle taped the recording and her giving birth?
Why did Danielle tell people the Others controlled the radio tower when it is, in fact, abandoned?
How did Locke know where the Losties would be and how to get there?
Why would Locke kill Naomi, but not Jack, or Cooper?

What Next?
Apparently the producers and writers are going into "Radio Silence" until Season 4 in Feb. 2008.. So all these questions, will be slowly eating away at us for the next 9 months...DAMN YOU CARLTON CUSE and DAMON LINDELOF! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

Human Giant 24 FAQ (Updated 5/24/07)

2007-05-22T08:56:00.001-04:00

I’ve been getting a lot of emails over the past few days with tons of very specific questions about the 24 Hour Human Giant Marathon. I decided to compile all of the questions together; hopefully these responses will give you all the information you need.

Q: When did you really find out about the marathon?
A: We first heard the marathon idea on May 3rd and our 1st day of work on the event was May 10th, leaving us with less than 8 days to conceive and write the entire show.

Q: Who wrote the show with you?
A: The official writing team behind the marathon was a dream team of the funniest people we could work with and it included Slovin & Allen, Andy Blitz, Jon Glaser. Unfortunately Jason Woliner and Tom Gianas were too busy editing the final episodes of the series and couldn’t work with us as closely as they would have wanted to, we were bummed.
* However, it’s VERY important to note that all the character pieces were written by the actors that performed them.

Q: The Million Hits was Total Bullshit. You padded your Stats.
A: Nope. We didn’t I swear. The million hits were totally real. I’ll be honest and tell you that before the marathon there was a thought that we might have to pad the numbers, so we built in bonus hits for certain challenges, but when the hit total kept building steadily throughout the 1st several hours, MTV pulled away all the bonus points for a more realistic score. The number we were left with, 1.2 million hits, is 100% real.

Q: Who Played….

Aziz’s Dad – Eric Slovin
Web Cam Girl – Megan Neuringer
Alan Harkett – Hip Hop Clothing Designer (Phone Call) – Adam Mckay
The Security Guard – Rob Riggle
The Lost/Wire Fan – Patton Oswalt
The Disgruntled Baba-Booie Caller –Jake Fogelnest
MySpace Tom – Matt Besser (via actual webcam)
College Web Cam Guy – Donald Glover
Osama Bin Diesel – Andy Blitz
Drunken British Pinetree – Jon Daly
Standards Lady – Jackie Clarke
Beard of Bees Comic – Leo Allen
Leprechaun – Eric Slovin
Speed Eater – Rob Latham
MTV Exec – Matt Higgins
The World's Biggest Baby - John Gemberling
The World's Biggest Baby Daddy - Curtis Gwinn
Gil Faison/Fabrice Fabrice/Gil Polar - Nick Kroll
Creepy Craigslist Dude/Bi Polar/ George St. Geegland - John Mullaney

Q: Where Can I Hear More….

Cracked Out (John Daly/Brett Gelman)-- Myspace --- Music Video
Kane Brothers (Brendan Burke/Jeff Morris) -- Myspace -- Music Video
Corn Mo -- Website -- Myspace

Q: Who Showed Up/Performed/Called In?
A: Will Arnett, Gbenga Akinnagbe, Fred Armisen, Todd Barry, Bill Burr, Matt Besser, Andy Blitz, Jackie Clarke, Michael Cera, Cracked Out, Cowboy and John, Jon Daly, Jake Fogelnest, Zach Galifianakis, Brett Gelman, Jon Glaser, Donald Glover, Bill Hader, Albert Hammond Jr., Ed Helms, Matt Higgins, Jonah Hill, Kane Brothers, John Krasinky, Nick Kroll, Rob Latham, Mastodon, Adam McKay, Eugene Mirman, Morningwood, Jeff Morris, John Mullaney, The National, Megan Neuringer, Bob Odenkirk, Patton Oswalt, Jonah Ray, Rob Riggle, Andy Samdberg, Kristin Schaal, Slovin and Allen, Michael Showalter, Jorma Taccone, Tapes ‘n Tapes, Tim and Eric, Ted Leo, Tegan and Sara, The Walkmen, Andrew WK and the NYU Debate Team….Plus special appearances by My Mom and Dad and Aziz’s Brother.

Q: Who Bailed?
A: Rakim and Kid Capri. Who does he think he is? Tom Selleck?

Q: What Was The Most Insane Moment
A: 4 Way Tie: The Borat Army, Tough Guy Movers, Zach G’s “Kill More Girls” Chant, and the World’s Biggest Baby.

Q: What Happened With Ed Helms?
A: Apparently Ed Helms was almost in a bicycle accident right as we went live on air and like a true pro he tried to continue the interview without letting on that he was in mortal danger. Ed is uninjured.

Q: Where can I find Ed Helm’s Zombie American Short
A: FunnyorDie.com

Q: Why Does Showalter Hate You?
A: He Doesn’t. It’s Just a bit.

Q: Why didn’t you play more (State, Music Videos, Old MTV Shows, Cartoons, etc…)
A:Unfortunately at the last minute MTV Legal put a ka-bosh on playing old shows and videos, apparently most videos and TV shows have a limited talent contract, which means that if we wanted to replay ANY old shows like Remote Control we'd have to pay Ken Ober, Kari Wuhr, and Colin Quinn and MTV wasn't into that. Same thing went for Videos (We only had about 10 we could play). But still anyone who saw Aphex Twin on the Jumbotron knows that it was worth it. We also couldn't play more of The State, for similiar reasons.

However we did get to show Marilyn Manson (before he was Marilyn Manson on some show with John Norris) where Marilyn revealed he had a friend who worked at a copy shop. Also we got to see Guns and Roses destroy the Headbangers Ball set and we watched a 7 minute episode of Singled Out. So we didn't leave totally empty handed.

Q: Was the Racist Poem Guy a Character?
A: Nope. That dude was real and is apparently upset that we cut him off. He posted the full poem on You Tube…HERE.

Q: What went on outside?
A: We got egged, mooned, a guy showed us his penis, and there were loads of insane homemade signs (including one which read I want to curl up in Paul’s gap) and I got a portrait made at 5AM.

Q: I looked like a lot of the time you were just writing bits in the commercial breaks and performing them minutes later.
A: Yep. Actually many of the bits we pre-planned were thrown out at the last minute to do something we just thought of in the moment. It was one of the best experiences ever.

Q: Can I pour acid on you?
A: No

Q: What’s Up with the Moustache Guy?
A: I don’t know. He was very nice and he likes “The Wire”, so he’s okay in my book. Plus he stayed for 24 hours.

Q: Did you Nap?
A: Nope. We all stayed awake the entire time.

Q: Learn Anything?
A: Yes, Breaking a Table with a Baseball bat is slightly painful and incredibly fun.

Q: I missed it.
A: Watch some pieces of it online at humangiant.mtv.com and Youtube (Keyword: “Human Giant”). Also give it some time before it’s loaded up to bit torrent sites.

Q: When does Season 2 Start? How Many Episodes?
A: We probably won't go into production for a few weeks and season 2 will most likely be 6-8 episodes.

I’ll keep adding to this FAQ as questions come in.

Quick Post about the Human Giant 24 MTV Takeover

2007-05-20T13:14:00.000-04:00

Holy Crap! I just Slept for 16 Hours, Straight. I didn't even know that was possible.

I just wanted to give everyone a quick update...We did it...We got over a million hits on our website all because of You! So Thank You So Much.

Your Texts, Emails, Phone Calls, and Picture Submissions were amazing. Also a big shout of to all of you who gently spammed by telling all your friends to check out our site, we really appreciated it. Plus a big thanks to all the people who stayed up with us, at home, on webcam and especially at MTV (They get an especially because they had limited use of the bathroom and very little food).

So it's official Human Giant will get another season on MTV and we are really excited about that. Hosting MTV for 24 Hours was so much fun and again we couldn't have done it for 24 hours straight with out the amazing guests, musical performances, and all the people who dropped by. Even the people that egged the TRL Studios at 5 AM, that was awesome, I hope you didn't get arrested.

If you missed any of the 24 hours Subtearean Blog did an Amazing job of Live Blogging. Check that out here

Also the Human Giant MTV Site has tons of videos from the night. You have to check that out. I don't think anyone else has put up as many videos as they have.

In case you were wondering...Unfortunately at the last minute MTV Legal put a ka-bosh on playing old shows and videos, apparently most videos and TV shows have a limited talent contract, which means that if we wanted to replay ANY old shows like Remote Control we'd have to pay Ken Ober, Kari Wuhr, and Colin Quinn and MTV wasn't into that. Same thing went for Videos (We only had about 10 we could play). But still anyone who saw Aphex Twin on the Jumbotron knows that it was worth it. We also couldn't play more of The State, for similiar reasons.

However we did get to show Marilyn Manson (before he was Marilyn Manson on some show with John Norris) where Marilyn revealed he had a friend who worked at a copy shop. Also we got to see Guns and Roses destroy the Headbangers Ball set and we watched a 7 minute episode of Singled Out. So we didn't leave totally empty handed.

I'll have more later, but now I have to eat.

Foo Fighters, Courtney Love and Human Giant

2007-05-16T18:07:00.000-04:00

Before last week The Foo Fighters, Courtney Love and Human Giant had only one thing in common...we all saw Krist Novoselic naked but now we have something bigger that unites us all. We are the only 3 groups of people that have been allowed to host MTV (and MTV2) LIVE for 24 Hours Straight!

Literally a week ago MTV came to us and asked us if we would be interested in doing a 24 hour event...in a week. We said, "Yes!"" and since then we have been working our asses off to figure out how exactly to fill the time. We have full access to the MTV vaults, we can play pretty much anything we want, with the exception of anything Nirvana related (Damn you, Courtney Love). So that means Old Remote Control, Singled Out, Beavis and Butthead, Sifle and Ollie and tons more. Plus we'll be airing a Human Giant Marathon. Every episode from our entire 1st season and we have a ton of amazing guests like....

Will Arnett
Chris Anderson
Fred Armisen
Matt Besser
Andy Blitz
Michael Cera
Cracked Out
Curtis and John
Jon Daly
Zach Galifianakis
Brett Gelman
Jon Glaser
Bill Hader
Kane Brothers (Wrote the Theme to Illusionators and Spacelords)
Nick Kroll
Adam McKay
Eugene Mirman
Morningwood
John Mullaney
The National
Bob Odenkirk
Rob Riggle
Andy Sandberg
Slovin and Allen
Michael Showalter
Jorma Taccone
Tapes 'n Tapes
Ted Leo
Tegan and Sara
The Walkmen
Andrew WK
.....and many more

It all starts This Friday (5/18) on MTV/MTV2 at Noon and continues till Saturday (5/19) Noon

So stay up with us, we are commited to staying up the entire time and every hour we'll be having contests that you'll virtually be able to interact with (I know that last part sounds lame, but it won't be)

Also If you want FREE tickets to be in the audience, just send an e-mail to battleofthebands@mtvstaff.com and please include the following:

-Name
-Age (You Have to Be over 18)
-Phone number

Of course, you are not obligated to stay in the audience for the full 24 hours and can stay as long as you want from what I understand. It should be really fun. It's basically going to be a huge party. Come and Go as you Please

This is going to be Insane!

BTW if you have a video you want to see or remember a cool episode of an old MTV show post in the comments, we'll try to play it.

Some Things You Shouldn't Say During Your Cinco De Mayo Party

2007-05-07T12:30:00.000-04:00

I hope everyone had a great Cinco De Mayo. However after going to a few parties, I learned that their are a few things that you should never say say...

1.) Who's in the Mood for some Jimmy Buffet
2.) Cinco De Mayo is Spanish for May Handjobs!
3.) Anyone want to play with My Machetes
4.) Let's Rob a Bank!
5.) Did You know that Cinco De Mayo is the only day when you can't get Herpes

The Magic Gypsies Have Met Their Match...Check Out This Illusionators Parody Video

Here's Some More Selleck Submissions...

Keep Them Coming (FYI: All pictures will be posted, I'm just doing 2 at a time)

Selleck Pictures, Magical Gypsies and Spiderman 3

2007-05-04T10:38:00.000-04:00

SELLECK!
Keep the Tom Selleck submissions coming here are a few to inspire you:

MAGIC GYPSIES

Also we are Loving all the Human Giant Fan Videos
Here's one of our Favorites: The Magic Gypsies

Click Here for More Gypsies

Spiderman 3
For all you Los Angeles Fans of Spiderman Out There...Check This Show Out.

Hosted by Peter Parker and Spider-Man

Do You Like Spider-Man?
Do You Hate Spider-Man?

If you answered yes to either of these questions then this show is for you.

Paul Scheer, Chad Carter, Paul Rust and Neil Campbell come together for one night only to celebrate and seriously infringe on copyrighted material as they celebrate the MOST EXPENSIVE MOVIE EVER MADE: SPIDER-MAN 3. So before you go see it in IMAX see us make fun of it at UCB.

With Special Guests:
Ed Helms
Doug Benson (Best Week Ever)
Scott Aukerman (Mr. Show)
James Adomian (Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson)
June Raphael, Joel Spence and Johnny Meeks (Sentimental Lady)
Eric Appel & Ben Rodgers
Plus a film by Jonah Ray

and More....

UCB's Unsanctioned and Unauthorized Spider-Man III Show!
Saturday May 5 at 10pm ($8)
reserve tickets now >>

Exclusive: Tom Selleck Hates Human Giant

2007-05-01T13:34:00.000-04:00

Ali and Frazier
Jay Z and Nas
Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump
and now...
TOM SELLECK and HUMAN GIANT

For far too long Human Giant has kept our mouths shut on the issue of Tom Selleck. But no more! We are finally breaking the silence. We have to let the world know what we know about Mr. Tom Selleck (aka Magnum P.I.).

Earlier this year Human Giant approached Tom Selleck about appearing in our show. He said, "No!" Wow, seems like Tom Selleck has a bad case of the "Go Fuck Yourself Human Giants" But guess what? We won't stand for it.

Tom Selleck This is WAR!

Apparently Tom Selleck thinks he is better than us. Now you might be thinking, "Wait a second, Tom Selleck just said he wouldn't appear in your show, that doesn't make him a bad dude." Really? Well let me put it this way, if Tom won't do Human Giant a favor, then chances are he won't do YOU a favor. Case in Point, Tom Selleck is a Bad Dude!

Plus I heard through a friend of a friend, who knew a guy, who once saw Tom Selleck at a Best Buy and he said that Tom hit a toddler in the head with a wireless router. He then walked out of the store with a unpaid for giant Plasma TV under his arm. When security tried to stop him, he grabbed his junk and said, "Suck it Bitches!" and that's a True Story.

Tom Selleck You Can't Push us Around Anymore!

If you have some photoshop skills I encourage you to make your own Anti-Tom Selleck Propaganda. Let the world know where you stand on the issue of Tom Selleck.
Try These Sample Phrases (Or Make Up Your Own)

Tom Selleck Hates Me!
Tom Selleck Hates You!
Tom Selleck Thinks He's Better Than You
Tom Selleck Forgot My Birthday...On Purpose.
Tom Selleck is Not My Friend
Tom Selleck Thought Hitler was a Cool Dude
Tom Selleck is German for "Go Fuck Yourself"
"Quigley Down Under" Sucks!

Stay Tuned. This is only Day One. We won't Stop until Tom Selleck agrees to do our Sketch. In the Meantime Share your Selleck Stories and Anti-Tom Selleck Propaganda Pictures in the Comment Section.

For Further Explanation Watch Human Giant's Appearance on Carson Daly

My New Best Friends are now the KTLA Morning Show

2007-04-26T23:47:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I mistakenly mentioned I was going to be on "Good Day LA", Well, I lied. Only because I didn't think you could handle the true awesomeness of the fact that I was ACTUALLY going to be co-hosting "The KTLA Morning Show."

Those Guys Kick All The Other Morning Shows Asses.

Some Highlights From The Interview Include A Roundtable Discussion About:

-How Hillary Clinton Should Start Wearing a Nascar Advertising Sponsored Outfit to Help Campaign Funding.

-Alec Baldwin Should Start a New Business Of Leaving People's Out Going Messages. He'll frighten you into talking after the beep.

-The Failed Human Giant Sketch "Farting Dead Zone"

3 New & Exclusive Human Giant Videos and Other Stuff

2007-04-25T00:16:00.000-04:00

We just leaked 3 Brand New Shorts that Have Never Been Seen on Funny or Die

The Embeddable Player is Acting Funky So Follow These Links

The Deer
Paul's Time Machine
Job Interview

Do You like The Satellite Radio well Human Giant is going to be on Playboy Radio on Sirius This Thursday Morning (4/26). We 'd love it if you'd call in to the show 1(877) 205.9796. The show can be heard by SIRIUS radio owners subscribing to Playboy Radio – Channel 198. Between the hours of 7am and 10am PST and 10am – 1pm EST. Visit www.playboyradio.com for more information.

Stay up Late or Set Your Tivos for Last Call with Carson Daly on Thursday Night (or should I say Friday Morning). When Rob Paul and Aziz will be guests on the show and yes, their will be a musical performance by us!

Finally I've been getting a lot of letters from people who notice that the Human Giant Shows that air on Thursday Night at 10:30PM are different than the ones that air in the reruns and they are right. We add a brand new sketch in our reruns...you can find all those sketches you might of missed at TheHumanGiant.com in the Videos Section. (By the way, please don't stop watching the show the night it airs, because that would really screw up those people who make decisions on things like a 2nd season based on stuff like Ratings!)

Why I Love Abercrombie and Fitch...

2007-04-23T20:19:00.000-04:00

Man Oh Man, I Love Abercrombie and Fitch. It is totally is the coolest store in the mall. I heard last week it totally kicked Pac Sun's ass.

Here Are My Top 10 Reasons I Love Abercrombie and Fitch...

1.) I love going to clubs but I hate their lack of cargo shorts.
2.) I can't get enough techno
3.) Salespeople who DON'T want to help you.
4.) They save energy by using the least amount of light possible.
5.) Great place to meet pedophiles.
6.) I need everyone to know exactly where I got my T-Shirt (A& F Lacrosse Rules!)
7.) No uglies!
8.) Did I mention the Cargo Shorts?
9.) Best place to buy clothes before a Date Rape
10.) Comfortable Leather Chairs which are great for reading the Classics.

Look at Those Great Sleeveless Polos

By the way....

Michael Showalter Calls The Human Giant To Task When We Talk about our Comedic Influences. Read the very Funny Radar Article

In Case You Missed Late Night....

2007-04-19T20:50:00.000-04:00

In Case You Missed The Big Show The Other Night, Someone was Nice Enough to Load it Up to You Tube. Listen to Dave and I talk about Human Giant, Gorilla Costumes, Ping Pong Balls and Theo From the Cosby Show.

Get Some Fresh Air And some Suicide....

2007-04-19T12:36:00.000-04:00

The Human Giant Press Tour Keeps Rolling Along.

Today we are doing something much classier than normal. We are on Fresh Air with Terry Gross

LISTEN TO IT HERE

Also a really fun interview I did with Suicide Girls is up, read it then casually look at all the hot, goth girls as an after thought. I wish they printed my sexy pictures...My Taint tattoo is the bomb!

* Fun Fact about Letterman: Paul Schaeffer Nixed My Original Tie and Ultimately Picked out the one I wore on the Show. Thanks Paul!

Set Your Tivos I'm on Late Night with David Letterman

2007-04-18T12:16:00.000-04:00

Holy Crap, I'm going to be David Letterman Tonight with Edie Falco and Sun Volt!

Hopefully tonight will be the night where Edie Falco and I stop our bitter feud. Damnit Edie Falco I won't have you embarass me again!

My Obsession with "Firehouse Dog" does not go unnoticed

2007-04-16T02:56:00.000-04:00

Before He Loses His Toupee

Over the last few weeks you have read about my obsession with the Major Motion Picture "Firehouse Dog", well through the power of the internet, I have come one step closer to meeting above mentioned dog. The Co-Writer and Producer of the film Mike Werb (Writer of Face-Off and The Mask) left a comment on my blogs and has proved to be a really cool guy with a great sense of humor and I wanted to share it with you. But 1st, promise me that you'll make the "Firehouse Dog" Your Myspace Friend right now.

NOTE: After looking at his page, I think Firehous Dog (AKA Rexxx) might be a Anti-Humanite because only dogs are in his Top 15...Don't pull an Imus on us Firehouse Dog let Humans into your top friends.

Here's the post....

mike werb has left a new comment on your post "Doug Benson and I Talk about Movies":

paul: you appear to be the only reviewer to not mention the dump in joe's stew. a stunt many critics took a big dump on us for. it was in character. at this point rexxx has patrician tastes. He hasn't suffered such indignities since his circus days.

hmmm. why did i sound off about that? read the orlando sentinel.

anyway, i particularly enjoyed your rant about the dog's toupee and that the dog just wasn't cuddly. what did you think of Lola's hairpiece?

btw, at one point i proposed calling the film "one strange dog" but that went nowhere. as is our box office, apparently.

anyway, i totally enjoyed the podcast and will forward it to todd holland, bruce greenwood, michael colleary and claire-dee lim.

thanks for being one of rexxx's
"friends." he's glad to have you!

mike werb

producer, co-writer firehouse dog

-FYI: If Bruce Greenwood actually listens to the Podcast, That would be hilarious, and secondly, I apologize for calling you Bruce Davidson. You are better than him and Aidan Quinn.

Long Live Fire House Dog!

Robert Rodriguez Please Make "MACHETE" into a Movie

2007-04-14T16:48:00.000-04:00

I just saw Grindhouse it was Awesome! The Movies and The Trailers were Perfect. But I really Hope Robert Rodriguez makes this Trailer for "Machete" into a Real Movie. Because it is Amazing!

5 Good Reasons to See Grindhouse
1.) Syndey Poitier
2.) The Trampoline Scene in the "Thanksgiving" Trailer
3.) You'll Learn Proper Gun Safety with Children
4.) Sayid from "Lost" Ball Cutting Knife
5.) Kurt Russell Eating Nachos with Reckless Abandon

Doug Benson and I Talk about Movies

2007-04-13T18:23:00.000-04:00

If you are having Best Week Ever withdrawal this week, have no fear because TV's Doug Benson has an awesome weekly podcast, that you must subscribe too called, "I Love Movies" he was nice enough to invite me on as a guest this week and it was great. We Talk About The Hoax, Pathfinder, the classic vomit scene from Falling Down and of course my Obsession with Firehouse Dog...Download it now.

The I Love Movies Podcast Home Page
(or just log into iTunes and Search "I Love Movies")

Last Night's Episode of Human Giant was one of my favorite episodes, it has special appearances by Patton Oswalt(Comedians of Comedy, King of Queens), Brian Posehn (Sarah Silverman Program), Jay Johnston (Mr. Shhow) and Jon Benjamin (Dr. Katz)
If you missed it and you are a raving insonmiac you can catch us again on MTV
@
Sun. Apr. 15 3:00 AM
Sun. Apr. 15 10:30 PM
Tue. Apr. 17 3:00 AM
Thur. Apr. 19 12:00 AM

Hilarious Adam Mckay/Will Ferrell Short: The Landlord

2007-04-13T14:42:00.000-04:00

This is Hilarious

Some Things I've Learned From Playing Guitar Hero 2

2007-04-12T11:49:00.000-04:00

First of all, if you don't have Guitar Hero 2 For the Xbox or Playstation, You are a jerk! But you can change that, all you have to do is stop whatever you are doing right now, run out to the street, mug an old lady, go to your local Electronics Boutique and buy one.

I guarantee you it will change your life!

Case in Point: This Dude's Mind is Blown

I'll admit for awhile I was that dude who mocked the guys/girls who sat in the video game demo area at Best Buy for hours on end playing Guitar Hero. In my mind it was as ridiculous as that Donkey Kong game where you beat drums to make him run around. But then I picked up my plastic ax and now I am hooked!

However, there are a few things you need to know, that the instruction book won't tell you

1.) No matter how cool you think you look while playing . You Definitely Don't Look Cool.

2.) "Heart Shaped Box" is deceptively hard to play...No wonder why Kurt Cobain Killed Himself (..Too Soon?)

3.) It's hard to impress house guests when you have a self decorated plastic children's toy lying on your couch...and you don't have kids.

3.2) While we are on the topic of decorating the guitar, if you are over 25...Don't.

4.) No matter what you do don't call it a "Guitar Version of SIMON"...It's Very Different and cooler.

5.) Don't exccessively celebrate or bow at the end of the song, even if you get 100% accuracy. I know you are happy but I guarantee you, that will be the precise moment your hot next store neighbor looks across the way at you and sees you standing in your PJ's, playing with a children's toy, and blowing kisses to your TV. Awkward.

Besides those rules have fun being a pretend rockstar and remember if you practice hard enough, you still won't have any idea how to play a real guitar and I'm fine with that.

Lil' 9-11 The Worst Movie Ever Made...Probably

2007-04-11T15:23:00.000-04:00

You've seen the other films now see it from a whole new perspective.
(Note: If the title Lil' 9-11 offends you you might not want to watch the following Video.)

A Shutterbugs Production...

For the conclusion tune into Human Giant Next Week.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Has Being on TV for One Week Changed the Members of Human Giant...
College Humor Investigates

Is it Just Me or Does this look like a Penis?

2007-04-10T20:33:00.000-04:00

I was logging into MySpace today and the banner ad is for Columbia House. The ad is is making a boxing metaphor but the style and shape of the gloves look like 2 dangling penises..
Am I crazy or Am I Right?

My Dad is Not Dead

2007-04-10T00:03:00.000-04:00

I've been getting a few very nice emails from people sending me their condolences about my deceased father, well I'm happy to report he is absolutely fine, and his death was just a joke. However the incident with the Time Machine and the Crystal Pepsi, Totally True! Weird.

Not Deceased

(FYI: The MTV Audience has responed so well to my Dad, that they have Given him him a new reality/stunt/prank show with Steve-O called MILFZ. Way to Go Pops! I'm proud of you)

Catching up....

The Human Giant made an Appearance on our Favorite Radio Show,
The Sound of Young America .
Take a Listen...
Human Giant on Sound of Young America
( iTunes Link)

We Also Sat Down with Gothamist for a Few Questions
HG with the Gothamist

And finally my Myspace friend Vin Forte did a Q& A with Rob, Aziz and I.

He threatened to hurt me if I didn't link to it, So here you go and by the way...
Don't read this alone, it's a Q&A so grab a friend and act it out
Human Giant Q&A

My 1st Real Fan Letter

2007-04-06T14:09:00.000-04:00

One of the best parts of doing all this comedy/acting stuff is the connection you can make with people without ever meeting them. I always love to know that I have made a solid connection and that someone out there really respects my work. Like this guy....

Wow! This guy really gets me. He knows that not only am I am a "great actor" but I also have "exceptional communication skills." I applaud him for his kind words and his ability to remain familiar yet vague at all times. Case in point... "you play a variety of parts and have the ability to capture the audience with your adaption of each character" YES! I do. Finally this guy gets me.

It feels so good to know that he thought my performance of "Grim Reaper" was terrific. Most people (including my mom) couldn't even recognize me in that scene, considering the fact I was wearing a mask and I had no lines and I was standing in a sea of similiarly dressed people, but this guy really got it and really enjoyed it.

I was also impressed by his ability to Time Travel and start watching the Human Giant weeks before it aired. My role of "Paul" is amazing (if i can say so myself) and I'm glad someone finally recognized the fact that through it all, I have done it all with "style, diginity, and ability"

Yes this is a TRUE FAN.

Anyone Know a Neilsen Family?

2007-04-05T06:29:00.000-04:00

So this is it. After months of Blog Posts, Video Leaks, and Random Pictures from the Set Human Giant Premieres Tonight on MTV at 10:30PM.

We are Excited.

If You Liked the 1st Episode Here's a Trailer for Season One....

The Reviews are In

I want share with you some of my favorite reviews of the show (so far)

My Favorite Review That Uses Nonsense Words
Bonker-fest
"Human Giant" (10:30 p.m., MTV). Series premiere. Welcome to the Short Attention Span Funhouse. Daffy dementia reigns in funny, quick-hit bits as the four-member Human Giant comedy troupe -- Aziz Ansari, Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer and Jason Wolmer -- bring their brand of bonkers, short-film lunacy to cable. It's all soaked in the rock 'n' roll attitude of alternative chucklehead wit, mixed with You Tube Nation viral vidiocy. Let's get mirthfully twisted.

My Favorite Confused Review
"My biggest complaint of them all, however, is why call the show Human Giant? The whole time I was watching the show, I kept asking myself, "What does this have to do with a human giant?" It boggled my mind and still to this moment and I am confused. Any ideas?" (If you do have an answer email Marla Horenbein TV Crtice for the Good 5 Cent Cigar Univ of Rhode Island's Student Paper)

Behind the Scenes

Finally if you have seen Episode 1 Get a Look Behind the Scenes of the Ghostface Short via Camera Phone Papparazi, from someone who lived in an apartment above the street we were shooting on.

Human Giant (Episode 1) For Free on iTunes

2007-04-03T13:17:00.000-04:00

READ, SEE, AND WATCH HUMAN GIANT TUESDAY

WATCH
The 1st Episode of Human Giant is available on iTunes Today for Free
iTunes

Episode 1: Mind Explosion
Child talent agents the Shutterbugs fire a little girl, Aziz, Rob and Paul sic attack dogs on themselves, the Illusionators cause mind explosions at a funeral, and guest star Ghostface Killah teaches Aziz a lesson with a baseball bat. (Also Special Appearance by Linda Cardellini)

(NOTE: This iTunes Episode isn't the same one that will air on MTV on Thursday Night, we didn't get the episode finished in time for our iTunes deadline so we had to hand in what we had, so you'll get some more Human Giant Goodness if you tune in on Thursday too)

READ
The People at Gothamist are Nice
Article in Gothamist

SEE

Come See Human Giant Live Tonight at UCB Theater in LA
Comedy Death Ray; hosted By Human Giant
with
Patton Oswalt
Brian Posehn
Matt Walsh
Andy Blitz
Jonah Ray
And LA Premiere of the Newest Shutterbugs!

Make Reservations Here

(NOTE: If the show sells out, show up night of the show and you should get in no problem, they usually manage to squeeze in everyone who shows up)

Could This Be the Most Insane Movie Ever?

2007-04-02T12:39:00.000-04:00

PITCH MEETING FOR THE MOST INSANE MOVIE EVER
(Taken from an Actual Recording)

Pitch Guy: The movie is called Firehouse Dog

Studio Guy: I Love it. Is it about a dog who lives in a Firehouse?

PG: No. It's about a celebrity dog, who is a super famous actor.

SG: How Famous?

PG: He has a red carpet leading to his trailer.

SG: Interesting and believable. Continue..

PG: Okay, so while shooting his latest film "Terrier at 20,000 Feet"

SG: What's it about?

PG: Honestly it's a rip off of Air Force One, anyway his parachute doesn't open and he lands in a truck of tomatoes and he is left to fend for himself on the streets because no one recognizes him.

SG: Why?

PG: Because his toupee has been ripped off in the crash landing.

SG: Now it makes sense, Dog look so different without their toupees, I love it.

PG: So the dog is lost on the streets, the pound tries to capture him, but he's so good at stunts he alludes them by doing elaborate and some might say unneccesary flips.

SG: You can't have enough unneccessary flips.

PG: Thank God you said that.

SG: Tell me what about this firehouse?

PG: Glad you asked..There is this Dad, someone like Aidan Quinn but not as famous. His wife is dead and he has a son....And he's a fireman!

SG: Wait, is this the same movie?

PG: Yup.

SG: Great.

PG: And by the way, get this, the fireman, doesn't know how to use a firepole.

SG: HAHA...What about the dog?

PG: Right. Good point. The son is lonely and one day is attacked by the stunt dog. The dog burps in the lonely kid's face and they become friends. So he takes the dog home.

SG: Ah, to the firehouse.

PG: No. He takes him home to a normal house.

SG: But..the title.

PG: Wait for it. Anyway the dog loves beef jerky but the Dad has control issues and wants the dog out of his house ASAP.

SG: Touching.

PG: I know. So while putting up flyers for a FOUND dog, the dog does some crazy stunts on a skateboard in a school parking lot. Which involves some more unneccesary flips. The kid says, "What else you got?" and him and the dog skateboard to a Marroon 5 song.

SG: PERFECT. Maybe Marroon 5 is too hip though we need something less recognizable.

PG: I'm on it. Anyway the Dad caves in and lets his son keep the dog and then the dog visits the Dad at firehouse and uses the firepole

SG: Is that possible?

PG: I don't know. Anyway the dog starts fighting fires and with no training whatsoever the dog saves the day the 1st time he goes to a fire. The dad loves the dog and steals him from his son. The Mayor gives the dog the key to the city

SG: What about the boy?

PG: Uh...Right..He falls in love. With some girl that we establish late in the 3rd act.

SG: Then what happens?

PG: I don't know. The dog goes back to Hollywood makes a movie about his adventures and calls it..... "Firehouse Dog".

SG: Perfection.

PG: So how much of this crack do you want?

SG: How about a kilo.

PG: Great. Here's the Crack and here's my Script.

9 MONTHS LATER!

Rob's Vagina Leaked on the Internet

2007-03-30T19:54:00.000-04:00

A New Human Giant Short with Nick Swardson and Rob's Vagina...

LOST RECAP "The Man From Tallahasse"

2007-03-25T00:14:00.000-04:00

I think someone over at LOST started pressing the "Awesome" button again because the last few weeks have been "HOLY SHIT!" Great. It's like all those promos promising us that big questions would finally be answered were just a couple of weeks too early...Unless of course you count the mystery of "Is their or isn't their a VW Bus on the island?" as something that you desperately needed an answer too...I did of course, because it goes to prove my theory that the Libyans from Back to the Future are actually run the Dharma Organization and Doc Brown is the ringleader of this entire social experiment. Only time will prove me right.

Here's some good stuff to think about while you are supposed to be focusing on something more important..

"Anthony Cooper, Adam Seward" (Locke's dad's alias names) is anagram for "Sawyer, the con man, a poor dad". Therefore, is Anthony Cooper the Real Sawyer? Remember, Sawyer is a con man who seduced James Ford's mother, Brooke Ford, then used her in order to obtain money from her and her husband. This prompted James to take Sawyer's name, and hunt him down.
If so that would be awesome, Sometimes I wish these people just talked about their fucked up families once in awhile, they'd get so much settled.

Secondly, could Locke be the guy who fell past Hurley's financial planner's office window in "Numbers"? In that episode: After Hurley wins the lottery, in his financial advisor Ken Halperin's office, he tells Hurley that every one of his stocks are up. He is the owner of a box company in Tustin, which was ruined after some tropical storms; luckily, Hurley insured it. Hurley also got paid from the LAPD after his false arrest. As Ken is assuring Hurley that he is not cursed, a man falls past the window behind him. If they knew that in season 1, then I say YEAH!

Finally my favorite unanswered weird thing popped up again...The DEATH CAR!

When Locke goes to see his father at the Tustin Florist Ranch, a car drives by in the background that looks very similar to the Bonneville that hit Michael and put him in the hospital, and hit Locke as he was chasing his mother through the parking lot of the toy store he worked at, and Kate ran into it when she was fleeing the hospital in Tom's car. Thanks to Lost Cubit for being on top of this weird ongoing

Apparently next week's episode is Niki and Paulo-Centric...You know those 2 new jerks who just showed up and everyone is totally cool with them like they have been there for 3 seasons. I hate them..I have no reason too but I just do, it's like the execs at ABC were like get me a sexier Rose and Bernard and we all know that isn't possible. Rose and Bernard are the sexiest

The Only Site I Visit on the Internet is...

2007-03-21T13:25:00.000-04:00

People are always asking me, "Paul what's the best site on the internet?" and I tell them straight up it's CaptainBarbossa.Com

Think about it. Finally! No more searching for that perfect Captain Barbossa picture or quote, ("Ye Best start believin' in Ghost stories...because Yer in One") because you can find them all right here. It's one stop shopping for all your Capatian Barbossa Needs.

Plus you can talk to other Barbossa Fans...All 4 of them in the Guestbook Section

Fans like "barbossa=true captain of the pearl" who writes:

Barbossa is the best, there is just something about him....hmmm ARGHH and he IS the true captain of the pearl. Can any one of you picture him taking orders from Sparrow? I can not!

I concur! Wholeheartedly.

And screw negative posters like "Sparrowgurl" who writes:

Jack is Sooo HOTTTTT (sorry Cpt.Barbossa)

Clearly she is on the wrong Message Board, but I like that she shows respect and apologizes to Cpt. Barbossa for her Negative post

So when you are in need of a Captain Barbossa Fix look No Further. Get Ye to
Captain Barbossa.com

Cosby Show Episode #198

2007-03-20T15:36:00.000-04:00

You read that right, Episode #198...I didn't even know they made that many. I think America tuned out after season 5. So I did some research I found out that there are like 3 Seasons of the Cosby Show that I never even knew existed, and after watching this one I'm glad I didn't, because it was TERRIBLE!

First of all Rudy has a moustache, I'm sorry but it's true. She looks like Magnum PI with that thing.

Then there all these weird people in the house and I don't know who the hell they are. Denise is engaged to some maintenance man, who everyone hates. Then Kenny (aka Bud) Rudy's Friend is a main character on the show but I don't know why, he doesn't hang out with Rudy anymore, now he's a babysitter for Olivia and hangs out with Cliff and Theo (which is a little weird) and it seems like everyone who ever appeared on that show lives in that house..it's like a big clown car, Huxatables just keep pouring out out. Personally I think they missed the boat by not bringing back that fat white kid who took a horse ride on Cliff's leg during Rudy's Birthday party. Now he was talented!

This picture was from season 6 and the cast cant even fit in the picture. By season 8 forget about it, you'd need a panaramicc camera to get everyone in.

And the opening theme/dance sequence looks like drunk people still trying to party after the lights are turned on in a club. (I tried to find it on You Tube, but they were all removed)

Also to add insult to injury there are 2 seperate speeches in the show where the main character's lose their train of thought...Cliff actually says, "I don't know where I'm going with this" after a 2 minute long speech. Then Theo is lecturing Kenny at the kitchen table about eating his vegetables and mid metaphor he says, "you know what forget it...." WHAT! Forget it...NO...You can't do that.

Clearly at this point in the show's run, everyone had given up. Case in point, the episode is directed by Alan Smithee (which for those of you who don't know is the name that a director gives when he is too embarrassed to put his name on the final project.)

Oh Cosby Show How could you have sunk so Low?

So Shame on you TV Land, Shame on You. I just wanted to eat my honey nut cheerios relaxing in my Pajamas and watching classic television, but you destroyed that for me! I hope you are happy.

If you have seen a terrible Cosby Show tel me all about it. We need to support each other

Human Giant: Old Fashion Fun

2007-03-16T04:23:00.000-04:00

Here's a New Short from our MTV Show, I hope You Enjoy it!

Only 1 Day Till Jeff Goldblum Beats The Crap out of Me!

2007-03-14T13:02:00.000-04:00

Set your Tivo because in 24 hours, Jeff Goldblum is going to put the beat down on me in the 1st episode of RAINES on NBC Thursday at 10PM.

I Promise you, It's going to be Crime-Drama-tastic!

SPOILER ALERT
In our scene I play a really greasy, hotel night manager, who won't give Jeff Goldblum (Raines) the information he needs so he decides to twist my arm..literally! (Nailed it!).

Interesting Fun Fact
The Hotel where we shot our scene actually caters to real Hollywood Prostitutes and Johns. How did I know? Well a real life hooker approached the bullet proof window in the front office while we were shooting to ask for a room.

What You Can Do...
If you like the scene, just bombard NBC with like 7-10 million hand written letters requesting that my character "greasy hotel clerk" gets spun off into my own hour long drama series. I'm thinking of calling "Night Shift" or "Ho Hotel", or just simply "Greasy". Every episode will center around me finding a stain in one of my rooms and I have to figure out what it is, before it's too late..."is it blood, semen, or peanut butter?" tune in and find out.

What The Hell Did They Say on Lost Last Week

2007-03-13T13:19:00.000-04:00

I know alot people aren't digging Lost this season, but for those of you who are, like myself, and who refuse to give up, here's a little translation from the climatic scene in last week's episode.

Now before you read the following scene, grab a friend, an eye patch, 2 guns, and make some fake tickets, then set up your bedroom like a theater, and and invite your next store neighbors to come over to watch. You are going to put on a show!

(FYI: Mikhail is the Patch wearing Guy)

Klugh: Mikhail. Mikhail! You know what to do.
Mikhail: We still have another way [out].
Klugh: We cannot risk it. You know the conditions.
Mikhail: There is another way.
Klugh: They captured us. We will not let them to get into the territory.
Klugh: You know what to do. That's an order.
Mikhail: We still have another way!
Klugh (in English): Just do it, Mikhail.
Mikhail: Forgive me. (shoots)

FYI: Jay Z is Doing Great!

2007-03-12T13:50:00.000-04:00

Now that Jay Z has turned 30, a lot of people have been wondering, "How's he doing?" and I'm proud to say that after listening to his new single "30 Something"...He's doing just fine, actually better than fine he's great. Don't believe me, let's take a look at what he has to say.. (These are actual lyrics)

Right off the bat, he gets into it...

You ain’t got enough stamps on your passport to fuck with Young H.O.

International, uh…
So by this admission I guess the only person that could "fuck" with Jay Z would be Richard Branson and from my experience Branson makes Nas look like a total pussy, so watch out!

That by the song’s end I’ll prolly start another trend
That's a lot of trends, especially if you account for every station that plays this song, that's hundrends of trends a day. I'm thinking at the end of my song, the trend he started was making it cool for people to exclaim "Juicelicious" after drinking a NAKED fruit juice. I did.

I got that 6-deuce with curtains so you can’t see me
And I didn’t even have to put tints on it

Seriously, I don't even know what that is. But it sounds expensive.

I don’t got the bright watch, I got the right watch
Jay Z continues his feud with Casio glow in the dark watches. It's getting ugly.

I don’t buy out the bar, I bought the Nightspot
This just feels like semantics to me. They are both risky investments.

I know you like, “Fuck!”

o-kay?

Now I got Black Cards, good credit and such

I was really happy to hear that he finally figured out his credit, I know when he was a kid he tried to scam Columbia House CD Club by not paying them for all the CD's he bought and I know that was lowering his credit score, so Bravo to you young Jeezy!

Gotta stop playin’ with these childrens, yeah

Yes, you do. Actually don't put that in a song.

Don’t let the patent leather shoes fool you young’un
I got the fully in the tux

Again, I don't know what he means but I'm oddly intimidated.

Got a sum on me to hire a gun army get you spun like laundry
And I’ll be somewhere under palm trees, calmly
Listening to R&B
I just like the idea of a gangland execution happening in one state and Jay Z listining to Pebo Bryson in another.

Ya’ll drink Dom, but not Rose’

Either way, we are talking about 2 expensive drinks.I wouldn't hang your hat on that insult.

Ya chick shop at the mall
My chick burning down Bergdorf’s

Actually my mall has a Nordstrom which seems on par with a Bergdorfs, I'm just saying.

Ya’ll respect the one who got shot, I respect the shooter

Wow! Okay. That's a contrary viewpoint. He's like the Ann Coulter of the Rap World.

So I hope that clears things up. Jay Z is doing Great!

R.I.P. ZACK THE LEGO MANIAC

2007-03-08T19:50:00.000-05:00

R.I.P. ZACK THE LEGO MANIAC

Zack Henderson (AKA Zack, The Lego Maniac) died late Thursday night in a mental institution outside New Haven, Connecticut. He is survived by his estranged wife, Blythe and his 10-year-old son, Martin, who was of course made out of Legos.

Fans will of course remember Zack from a series of Lego related commercials in the mid-80’s that exploited Zack’s Lego based insanity.

In 1989 when Lego dropped the severely disturbed Zack as a promotional tool for their company he spiraled into an even deeper pit of Lego based mental illness. Trying to correct his affliction he entered intensive therapy where even top psychologists concurred that he was still and will remain a “Lego Maniac”.

In 2000 he was arrested in Lake Winnipesaukee for attacking a kindergarten class in attempt to steal more Legos. In the attack he lost an eye and also captured the heart of Blythe Williams the kindergarten teacher that he assaulted. Their romance flourished until it became clear that Zach was only using her for her access to Legos. She disappeared in 2005 and was never seen again; police still believe that Zach was responsible for her death.

In 2006, Zach was found living under the 4th street Bridge in downtown Los Angeles in a small Lego structure with his “son” Martin. He was admitted into New Promises Rehab facility and never received a single visitor till his death. Zack was 25.

HUMAN GIANT @ SXSW

2007-03-07T20:35:00.000-05:00

HUMAN GIANT AT SXSW
Saturday, March 17th at 8 pm
Friends Bar - 208 East 6th Street

AZIZ ANSARI, ROB HUEBEL, and PAUL SCHEER present a special sneak preview of their new MTV show HUMAN GIANT.

With Special Guests PATTON OSWALT, EUGENE MIRMAN and MORE!

Also we will also be giving away special advance screener DVDs of some of our favorite stuff.

We'll also be doing a few other Shows and Events around SXSW...But basically I'm really excited to drink my Favorite Austin drink, The Michelada. Never had one? Then make one for yourself.. If You Dare! (FYI: I found the recipe on Wikipedia)

In a chilled Salt-rimmed mug or glass pour in 325 mL (12 Fl. oz.) of tomato juice or Clamato.
A few drops of hot sauce, such as Valentina or Bufalo. McIlhenny's Tabasco sauce is not usually used, as it leaves a slight vinegary aftertaste.
A few drops of Worcestershire sauce
A few drops of Maggi seasoning or soy sauce.
Squeeze a lime wedge (lemon wouldn't be strong nor sour enough).
Mix the ingredients in the glass.
Slowly add one 325 mL (12 Fl. oz.) Mexican beer (preferably a dark beer like Negra Modelo).

Q&A

2007-03-07T01:26:00.000-05:00

Here's a interview I recently did with Wicked Info

No stranger to the big screen, or the small screen alike, Paul Scheer has been making people laugh for years. You may have seen him in the Upright Citizens Brigade TV show, VH1's "Best Week Ever," or on the big screen in School of Scoundrels. Wherever you may have seen him, we're sure you've enjoyed each of his performances along the way. So sit back, relax, and enjoy our hilarious interview with the one, the only, Paul Scheer.

Q: Give us some dirt on VH1's "Best Week Ever." Who on the cast is truly funny and who is being fed witty lines by the producers?

PS: We are all just puppets and just off screen they hold us hostage with a gun and if we don't say the stuff they want they shoot us in the kneecaps.

Q: Francis Bacon once said "Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is." How has humor helped define your life?

PS: I refuse to talk about Francis Bacon and his outright lies. Ever since I worked with him on Fantastic Four, he's been a real prick.

Q: If you, Britney Spears, George W. Bush, Paris Hilton and Snoop Dogg were marooned on a desert island, who would end up in charge and who would end up as dinner?

PS: Considering none of us have probably made dinner in the last 10 years I assume we'd starve under the daunting bald headed leadership of Britney Spears

Q: You've just finished filming a movie made by the creators of "The Onion." Can you share some tidbits on acting in this piece?

PS: It was difficult because they kept telling me to take off my clothes and blow this dude behind a 7-11 and I..Oh God, I hope that was a movie, come to think of it I never saw any cameras.

Q: We assume that that you're quite the lothario. What would you suggest is the best make-out song to bust out when we're with our girlfriends?

PS: I only make-out to "Master of Puppets" by Metallica. We start at the 1st song and don't stop till the end.

Q: When you were just nineteen, you were asked to join the New York City's longest running Off Broadway comedy show, Chicago City Limits. Being the youngest person ever to be accepted into the ensemble, how were you able to handle that challenge despite your age?

PS: It was easy the show wasn't that good.

Q: What's your favorite way to kick back and relax after a stressful day?

PS: I kidnap 3 unsuspecting civilians and bring them to a burned out building, I convince them that there was an apocalypse and that I'm the new leader of the world and they must obey me. Then for 15 hours we play the most intense game of "Simon Says" ever.

Q: Are there female leprechauns?

PS: Not since the Enchanted Forest Battle of 1856, when the evil wood-elves poisoned the male leprechaun's reproductive systems via dick blow dart.

Q: Where can your fans catch more of you in 2007?

PS: They can see me on my new show "Human Giant" on MTV, Thursdays at 10:30PM (starting April 5th) also I perform at UCB Theater in NY& LA and as always you can catch my one man version of Angels in America performed in my apartment every night.

Q: Let's end with word association. We say wombat and you say...

PS: Ed Bradley
____________________________________________________________________

Big Thanks to everyone who came out in the freezing cold for the Human Giant Illusionators shoot last night. You all were the best! I hope your hypothermia wasn't isn't too bad. Also if you found a cellphone by UCB send me an email.

The Illusionators needs help from New Yorkers!!!

2007-03-04T10:44:00.000-05:00

The Illusionators need your help!!!

Be in a short on Human Giant's MTV show. Watch the Illusionators perform their most dangerous magification ever!

Show up at UCB at 9:30 on Monday and John Satan and Scott Devil will lead you to a world of illusion and death!

Afterwards, we will take you back to Crash Test, where your seats will be saved, but your lives will not!!!!

Crash Test
With Human Giant (Aziz, Rob, Paul), Eugene Mirman, and AD Miles

We will also sneak preview more new clips from our MTV show.

Where:
UCB Theater
307 West 26th Street
(b/w 8th & 9th Ave)

When: 9:30PM on Monday

Human Giant Presents: Camping Trip!

2007-02-27T22:52:00.000-05:00

Here's a new short, from the Human Giant Show, it's totally different than the other stuff that we've made but I think you'll like it.

Human Giant: Camping Weekend

Add to My Profile | More Videos

The OC Died This Week...Let's Mourn our Loss

2007-02-25T14:33:00.000-05:00

The OC Eulogy

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Another SXSW Show - The Onion Party

2007-02-20T14:10:00.000-05:00

Mark Your Calendars: Human Giant Debut's April 5th @10:30PM

2007-02-19T15:57:00.000-05:00

This Past Friday Night we Wrapped Principal Photography on "Human Giant".

Here are some Things I Learned The Hard Way that You Shouldn't Say During Your Wrap Party Toast:

"Thanks...For Nothing! A-Holes"
"Don't Look Me in the Eyes When I'm Speaking"
"I Don't Like Any of You"
"See You in Hell!"

I then took off on my Segway and Flipped everyone the Bird!
_____

We've been working Non Stop since August 24th and we shot for 37 Days with the best crew I've ever worked with and now we have over 90 pieces ready to be editted.

I hope you like them.

HUMAN GIANT PREMIERES
APRIL 5th @ 10:30PM
on
MTV

Catch a Sneak Preview at SXSW
on March 17th @ FRIENDS
(More Details Coming Soon)

Holy Shit! Cool LOST Thing

2007-02-14T19:52:00.000-05:00

Lost has gone all Twin Peaks on us by employing the talking backwards stuff yet again..Check out this video that plays the brainwashing scene backwards...

If you listen closely you can hear..."only fools are enslaved by time and space"...Awesome!

Another theory that continues to back up the thought that Lost is working outside a normal time line is that the guard who was guarding the brainwashing room was reading Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time and Space"

Linda Cardellini on the Set of Human Giant

2007-02-13T11:03:00.000-05:00

Lost Recap (2/7/07) : A New Theory

2007-02-11T18:28:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the late update, but my Tivo is a Ass! Instead of taping LOST it decided to tape a rerun of CSI: Las Vegas and I don't even watch that show. So they only conclusion I have is that I live with a ghost who loves CSI and likes to screw with my Tivo which is cool but I wsh my ghost liked better shows.

Overall nothing too shocking in this week's episode, except for the rave brainwashing room, that was awesome, it was like a gentler Clockwork Orange.

All right, so the coolest theory I've heard has been pieced together from a few different sources....

Here's an excerpt from a Lost Interview with the Producers

What is the meaning or significance of the two skeletons that Jack and Kate found in the cave of season 1?

CUSE: The answer to that question goes to the nature of the timeline of the island. We don't want to say too much about it, but there are a couple Easter eggs embedded in [the Feb. 7 episode], one of which is an anagram that actually sheds some light on the skeletons and hints at a larger mythological mystery that will start to unfold later in the season.

LINDELOF: There were certain things we knew from the very beginning. Independent of ever knowing when the end was going to be, we knew what it was going to be, and we wanted to start setting it up as early as season 1, or else people would think that we were making it up as we were going along. So the skeletons are the living — or, I guess, slowly decomposing — proof of that. When all is said and done, people are going to point to the skeletons and say, ''That is proof that from the very beginning, they always knew that they were going to do this.''

Does time pass differently on the island than off the island?

LINDELOF: That's a really perceptive question. We know that the Others taped the Red Sox win the World Series in 2004... so that would seem to indicate that time flows the same both on and off. But then again, when the sky turns purple and the ground shakes... wait. Hold on. Carlton is wringing my neck.

CUSE: Yes. Time passes very slowly because they don't have American Idol to watch.

Interesting...

Now the anagram they are referring to is this...

MITTELOS is Actually LOST TIME

So maybe when the failsafe was turned on things went haywire. Remember when Jack asks Mr. Friendly why they don't take Ben off the island for treatment. Mister Friendly says "ever since the sky turned purple… they can’t do that anymore" .. So Maybe everyone is trapped or Time is moving slower in the real world...or Faster...I don't know!

When Diamonds Cry: The Final Chapter

2007-02-07T23:06:00.000-05:00

After 54 incredibly succesful internet chapters of my romantic, mystery, suspense, horror, fact based fiction novella I now present the final chapter of "When Diamonds Cry....

When Desmond peaked through the door he saw the ghost of Samantha standing over Detective Franks mangled body. He barged in and cried, "No! My partner. How could you?" Then out of the corner of his eye he saw Rick quickly approaching with a machete.....SLICE.......Things went black then Desmond saw his own body without a head across the room and thought, "FATHER!" ...The sun set in Zanibar, Marcus turned off his console and the robots finally regained control...THE END!

You're Welcome!

Prepare Your Mind...For A Mind Explosion!

2007-02-05T19:05:00.000-05:00

Here's a New Human Giant Short from our Upcoming MTV Show

Illusionators

A Day in My Life...

2007-02-02T20:31:00.000-05:00

Living in Hollywood, I’m always out partying with my famous celebrity friends. So last night I got on the horn with my crew; Dabney (Coleman), Reginald (Vel Johnson), and Bronson (Pinchot) and we hit the scene.

Bronson was driving his VW Bus and we were going to hit up the Cracker Barrel before we went to play some Glow in the Dark Mini Golf at the Galleria, like every Thursday night. Reginald brought a can of beer from home and we all split it as we drove, it was warm but we totally we’re getting drunk off it. After dinner we were pulling out of the Cracker Barrel parking lot and we saw the dude who hosts Blue’s Clues crossing the street and we pulled up alongside him and I yelled out the window, “Hey Steve, I heard you took 1st place in the Asshole Olympics”. I high fived Dabney and Bronson hit gas and sped out of there. We laughed all night about that one.

Jealous?…Yeah, I Thought So!

Birthday Wishes That Haven't Come True

2007-02-01T16:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was My Birthday and I went Back and Thought About Some of My Birthday Wishes From Previous Years and I Realized a Lot of Them Never Came True...Because if they Did I would be driving a Delorean, be married to Punky Brewster, and be playing Basketball for the NBA and through it all my Robot from Rocky 3 would totally be serving me Drinks. Man that Life would be Awesome!

Human Giant
Tonight at 11 at UCB-LA
With Special Guests AD Miles and Jonah Ray
Make Reservations Here

LOST Hearts Corporate Synergy

2007-01-31T13:19:00.000-05:00

Check out this very special episode of "Lost"...It kinda makes you feel the same way that it did when your Dad got his "cool" new earring on his 45th Birthday.

I'm Back....

2007-01-30T22:47:00.000-05:00

You might be thinking, "Scheer, what the hell dude? Where have you been?" and I guess the short answer is "Greyhound Racing." Those dogs are...so beautiful, so...energetic. So far I've lost over $150,ooo big ones on those grey bastards. I also met this dude named Bianca at the track and he's setting me up on "dates" with visiting Asian businessmen and while that's cool it's still not paying off my debts so that why I've been had to take a job doing a new show for MTV called HUMAN GIANT...It's kinda like Laguna Beach with Fake Moustaches and alot more Cursing.

Meet the
"Space Lords"

Rob Huebel, Aziz Ansari and our director Jason Woliner have been working on the show since September and in that time I've learned alot; here a few things you may not know.

Some Important Things I've Learned
Making the "Human Giant" TV Show

You can't say, "I was raped by a dinosaur" but you can say "I was molested by a dinosaur"
Sobe Adrenaline stops being effective after the 23rd day of drinking it daily.
When in doubt cast Nelly Furtado! (FYI: We've yet to be in Doubt)
Avoid the Imitation Crabmeat at the MTV cafeteria.
You might buy O Magazine as a joke but don't be suprised if you actually like it.
On TV Guns are bad but suprisingly Crossbows are totally cool.
Tom Selleck is busier than we imagined.
It's the only job where people will literally get into an argument over what's a funnier passage of time 10 years, 5 years, or 3 years. (The answer is 10....of course!)

I have more coming soon...

In the meantime check out Jonah Ray's Blog about his Spacelords Experience

HUMAN GIANT SET PICTURE

2006-12-11T12:25:00.000-05:00

Yuppies

2006-11-22T15:47:00.000-05:00

In this Month's Details Nick Kroll and I Take on Yuppies Or as I see it "How Cocaine and Business Cards aren't that much different from Shopping at Whole Food and Driving a Prius!"
Read it Here!

2 Cool Things...

2006-11-18T17:23:00.000-05:00

AP MAGAZINE Featured Me in their Comedy Issue

I did a claymation show for Vh1 a year ago called Starveillance and now it's going to be on E! in January, here's a sneak peek, in this scene Jackie Clarke (Free FM) and I play Ashton and Demi on their first date....Watch it Now!

The Worst Use of Coldplay Ever...

2006-11-10T01:31:00.001-05:00

This is a real commerical for a Star Wars Movie Marathon on Cinemax...It's so painful but yet I can't stop watching it.

Why I Love Halloween in New York...

2006-11-01T12:07:00.000-05:00

Because Last Night I saw a Rainbow Bright give a Ghostbuster a BJ in Front of Kim's Video on St. Mark's Street.

Because if you Don't Have a Costume, Not Problem, Just Put a Rubber Ball in Your Mouth and Dance in a Trashcan.

Because you can never get enough Aborted Fetus Costumes!

A List of Lost Theories With Little Or No Facts to Back Them Up!

2006-10-13T13:40:00.000-04:00

Some Interesting Theories are Floating around About This Week's Lost
(Get Ready For a Big List)

Finally for all the people that had weird theories about this show taking place in the past it's confirmed that the current date on the island is November 29, 2004.

Jae may not have thrown himself from the balcony. Though, with the necklace in his hand, it appears that he committed suicide, it also seems unlikely that he would not take the offer to run away to another country. Sun killed Jae; he did not jump. This is foreshadowed when Sun pushes the Glass Ballerina off of its platform.

When Colleen approaches Danny about getting Desmond's boat, she can be heard saying "Ben wants us to take the "galaga"...now pair that with the fact that The others were able to approach the sailboat without getting wet and without walking up the pier. So maybe the others have a submarine?

Ben's statement that he has been on the island his whole life implies that he was born there. In support, he refers to "your fellow Americans" when speaking to Jack, indicating that he does not consider himself to be an American.

The dig site was likely an archeological dig. The area was broken up into quadrants and the others were frequently checking a map of some sort. Maybe they are digging up a huge sandal for that big foot we saw last season.

One of the coolest things I've saw was in the trailer for next week, check out these images, from the slowed down trailer...Maybe a Spoiler

The Others may be descendants of inhabitants of an utopian village on the island that were infected with a virus by members of the Hanso Foundation. Due to the healing powers of the island, the virus is not effective. Now the Others are desperately seeking a way to neutralize the virus and be able to leave the prison of the island and live in the outside world. That’s why they pick out people that could bring a solution to their problem. That’s why Ben requires Jack: Jack's task will be finding an antidote. That is why Jack and Kate wake up with shot marks on their arms. Perhaps they were infected with the virus (or whatever they think is the virus-they may not be sick at all) in an effort to coerce Jack into helping them-he would never let Kate die.

And Finally I Learned That Evageline Lilly When not Working Loves to Dry Hump!

The Reason Why My Blogs Have Been So Infrequent...

2006-10-11T11:15:00.000-04:00

The Human Giant

A few months ago Rob Huebel, Aziz Ansari, Jason Woliner and I did a comedy pilot for MTV and they liked it so much that they are letting us get our own series, which is awesome! We are all psyched and super lucky. Hopefully we won't mess it up because if we do Michael Clarke Duncan is going to kick our asses.

We've been working on the show for the past few months in NYC and LA and we start airing in March. So I'll keep you updated when I know more.

If You don't know about Human Giant you can Watch Some of our Films Here and you can Join our Infrequently Updated Myspace Page Here

Here's The Official Press Release...

"Santa Monica, CA, October 4, 2006 MTV: Music Television today announced the greenlight of a new comedy series, Human Giant, set to premiere in Q1 2007 and begin production immediately. Human Giant consists of four members -- Aziz Ansari, Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer, who will all star and executive produce, and Jason Woliner, who will direct and executive produce." [Continue reading at The Futon Critic]

Lost: Season 3 - Facts, Theories, and Speculation

2006-10-05T15:52:00.000-04:00

Let's just get this out of the way, the 1st 5 minutes of LOST was amazing, it kinda makes up for the next 55 which totally strung you along for absolutely NOTHING! Too much Jack Angst and not enough Polar Bears. However that being said, Never have I been this psyched to be so frustrated.

We learned a bunch of different things, the most important being that if you don't invite Henry/Ben to your book club, Watch your Ass, because he's going to drown you.

Unfortunately last night's episode was really straightforward, nothing happened that really needs much explaining. However I was suprised that Kate took Sawyer's Fish Biscuit and chowed down on it after she had such a great breakfast, c'mon that's just rude. Sawyer was hungry!

Here's Some Stuff That People are Talking about.....

this Theory is the most Interesting, but I'm not Convinced, could the patient that Jack was working on be, Mr. Friendly? Check it out:

Then There is This Crossword Puzzle, If you have a lot of time you can flip it around and magnify it and see the following words, "neccessary evils," "raft," "vital statistics," "prenatal," "heroes."

So that means that the NY Times is apart of the conspiracy, I knew it!

So that's all for Now..Till Next Week.

Holy Crap! I'm in a Major Motion Picture!

2006-09-29T02:09:00.000-04:00

School For Scoundrels Opens this Weekend!

You Can See The New Trailer Here or You Can Check out the New You Tube Site or you can just enjoy the mystery of surprise. Just whatever you do don't see The Guardian, Open Season, or Jackass 2 this weekend!

Since the movie is opening I thought now would be the best time to give you some behind the scenes gossip from the set.

Horatio Sanz Insists on Traveling with UFC Diagonal Ring and He Challenges People to Impromtu Matches before and after each take. Suprisingly Joe Rogan is their to announce each fight.

Billy Bob Thorton can Fly.

Jon Heder calls everyone "Gregory"

Matt Walsh Runs a Meth Lab From his Trailer

Jacinda Barett created Cold Fusion

One Person in the Film is totally CGI

Benji (The Dog) was the Caterer

My Character Little Pete was originally called Black Alfred

17 people committed suicide by hanging during the shooting look closely and you will see them dangling in the background

The entire Film take Place in Mentally Challenged Child's Snowglobe.

So Go See it Before I Go All Hollywood and Ditch My "Real" Friends and Pictures Like These Become the Norm...

By the way, If You Don't See the Movie Michael Clarke Duncan will come to your house and beat the crap out of you...

Three Songs That You Don't Want to Hear at 8AM

2006-09-18T20:13:00.000-04:00

For the past 2 weeks my next door neighbor has started a new regime which includes playing the following 3 songs on repeat for about a half an hour.

"Since U Been Gone"
"Walk Like an Egytptian"
"Holiday"

This morning I responded by Playing Weird Al Yankovic's "Like a Surgeon"

So since no one in my apartment complex is winning. I'm taking suggestions on what song to play on repeat tommorrow.

Here's a Fall TV Show I'd Like to See

2006-09-12T21:50:00.000-04:00

Mr. Belvedere in F*CKED!
Mr. Belvedere (Christopher Hewitt) is a meth fueled double dealing hitman with a penchant for red wine and whores. After a failed assasination attempt he finds being hunted by the Mafia, the Yakuza, and the Baseball Furies (From "The Warriors") now if he wants to live he's got to go into Witness Protection and run a Day Care Service. Nap Time has never been this dangerous!

New Lost Stuff

2006-09-08T14:34:00.000-04:00

With only a month before LOST's 3rd season premiere, a whole bunch of new stuff has been popping up...Enjoy

This Video is the Culmination of the LOST Online Game. It's extremely revealing and of course confusing.

Here's a Link to a Map of the Entire Island, It's Awesome!

Huge Ass Map

Ms. Bliss Can Suck a Dick....

2006-08-31T14:05:00.000-04:00

Is it just me or don't you hate it when you are settling in to watch a Saved by the Bell rerun on TBS and instead you get an episode of "Good Morning Miss Bliss." Which of course was the Disney Channel precursor to "Saved by the Bell".

C'mon This Show sucked! It's a sitcom about a Single Teacher whose Husband Dies and some kid who looks like he lost a Ralph Maccio contest. Sure you get Zach, Lisa Turtle, and Screech but they are just shells of their future selves. The show takes place in Indiana...WTF!This show was so bad that Disney cancelled it, I don't think Disney cancels anything.

There's no Slater, no Kelly Kapowski, and Mr. Belding is hardly in the episodes. Why even watch? This show is so bad it makes Saved by the Bell: The College Years look good.

So Joining Me won't you in getting TBS to Burn their remaining copies of this blight on society.

Miss Bliss You can Suck a Dick

My Trip to the Emmys!

2006-08-28T20:17:00.000-04:00

Last night I attended the 58th Annual Emmy Awards. As you all know, I was there to slap Hugh Laurie (House M.D.) with a paternity suit because that British Bastard still refuses to take any responsibility for our baby girl, Sabrina. You can't ignore Mr. Laurie, you are in a world of shit and I'm the stable master (...who cleans that shit).

Anyway, since I was there I decided to continue my quest to be the world's worst Papparazzi. So join me won't you.

Every Limo that Arrives is Greeted by These Placards...

Obviously they are Pissed 7th Heaven wasn't nominated this year.

At first I was offended but then I realized this was the perfect sobering message to have right before I got my complimentary Grey Goose Apple Martini. By the way, I heard the cocktail napkins were hand sewn by orphans, that's right only the best at the Emmys!

Have You Ever Wondered What Ray Liotta Looks like From the side, well wonder no longer

(Kinda like Alec Baldwin)

Yup That's Billy Bush and Heidi Klum's Ass

Jean Smart was great in "24" this season....

However, I miss her Natural Chemistry with Mesach Taylor on Designing Women

Either I'm Super Tall of Kiefer Sutherland is Super Short. You Be The Judge!
(It's like a Special EFX Scene From Lord of the Rings)

Then My Camera was Confiscated!

Grover Cleveland Hates Vampires!

2006-08-24T13:50:00.000-04:00

No books have been written about our 22nd President, Grover Cleveland and that's a real shame. Because as a leader of the Bourbon Democrats he opposed imperialism, taxes, corruption, and vampires. That's right, Vampires! In 1894 President Cleveland instituted the "No Bloodsucker Act" which called for the genocide of the Vampire Race in North America. Not wanting to be known as a man who let someone else do his dirty work, Cleveland was responsible for the execution of over 250 vampires in a 6 month period (historians note that upwards of 50 of those vampires were baby vampires, but regardless that was still an impressive feat). Some even say that Cleveland was the basis for the Marvel Comic book character Blade. While insiders at Marvel have anonmously agreed with this theory many also added that Grover Clevland was much more bad ass than Blade and subsquently the character was toned tone to make him more believable. So everyday that you are not drinking the blood of the living, thank Grover Cleveland, a Real American Hero.

New David Brent Videos on You Tube

2006-08-22T13:36:00.000-04:00

Click Here For The Rest of the Them

What I Learned From Snakes on a Plane

2006-08-21T16:00:00.000-04:00

Snakes are not indigenous to Hawaii.
Don't leave your can of Red Bull at a crime scene.
Snakes can not get into 1st class.
Always pack a bow and arrow in luggage just in case the hero of your flight needs a weapon while he/she is in the cargo hold.
Rich British people are assholes.
The snake guy who lives in the dessert is probably up to no good.
Snakes are attracted to breasts, specifically hot girl's nipples.
Eventhough Xbox flight simulators are incredibly thorough they don't teach you how to land a plane.
Male Chauvenists and Germophobe Rappers can be heroic when in stressful situations.
Just because you are a championship kickboxer, don't flaunt it! As a matter of fact, never show anyone your moves outside the ring, even if you are in a deadly situation, just allude to how good you are.
Hot stewardesses are attracted to dangerous men.
Beware! Because sometimes you might be having a dream where you feel like someone is going down on you, only to find that it's actually a snake and that snake wants to eat out your eye and live in your skull.

and Finally....
Always Check Behind the Lais

What did you Learn?

The Indie Music Suge Knight Revealed

2006-08-10T22:10:00.001-04:00

Check out an Expose on Indie Music's Most Dangerous Man...With Appearances by Rob Huebel, Nick Kroll, Rob Riggle, Fred Armisen, Tapes N Tapes, Ted Leo, and Me

Watch Me Get Maced in The Face....

2006-08-08T12:31:00.000-04:00

I Shot a Movie with Billy Bob Thornton and Jon Heder called "School For Scoundrels" . It Comes out This September...

Check out the Trailer Here

A lot think that maybe I have changed now that I'm in a movie not a chance, things are just different. Now when people come up to me and ask me, "Paul, What is it like Being a Movie Star?" First thing I say is "Don't Look me in the Eyes, You Freak!" Secondly if they haven't been in a movie, I just laugh in their face and say "You'll never know" then I hoist myself into my Hummer, which is towing another Hummer (which of course is running) then and I pump up the volume on my bootleg live album of Creed as loud as I can and drive far away from that person.

But if you really want to see how a Movie Star is Treated on the set, look at my Trailer.

Check This Shit out Y'all...First of all, everything is in my reach. Wall to Wall my Trailer is about 9 Motherfucking Feet (Suck on that Wil Smith). I can sit on my Couch (Which also doubles as a Bed-Thank You Very Much) and Reach the Sink or My Closet (Which Hangs conviently above me). Now a lot of stars request that the Bathroom sink be moved out of the bathroom I'm one of those dudes, plus check out my handy soap dispenser, just like real restrooms and I don't even want to mention my paper towel dispenser. Plus My Shades always stay down...Why? Because They are Bolted to the Wall. So Yeah Things are Pretty Good!

Snakes on Your CellPhone...Trust Me It's Awesome

2006-08-07T15:54:00.000-04:00

This is the Best Thing Ever...There is a New Feature on the Snakes on a Plane Website Where Samuel L Jackson will Call You and Leave You a Personalized Message Reminding You To See Snakes on a Plane. It's Hysterical

Click Here To Send Your Friends The Most Kickass Phone Call of There Lives!

Holy Crap! I'm on on TMZ.com

2006-08-04T14:08:00.000-04:00

TMZ.Com was at the 100th Episode Party for Best Week Ever at the Marquee, It was awesome that they were there but secretly I was always hoping my first video on TMZ.com would be me bitch slapping Alfonso Ribeiro (Carlton From Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) in a Mcdonalds Parking Lot because he looked at me funny

Stranded, Annoyed and Alone at the JFK Airport or Why American Airlines Sucks

2006-08-03T15:41:00.000-04:00

Currently, I am stranded in the Fancy New American Airlines Terminal at JFK Airport, it's been about 8 hours since I breathed fresh air and my hope for flying standby is starting to dwindle and in all that time I only have one question:

If you are only going to have 2 stores in your entire concourse, why would you make them L'Occitane and Swatch? C'mon! That's Not Cool.

Carl From Aqua Teen Makes Fun of Me...Awesome!

2006-08-01T19:24:00.000-04:00

In preparation for the 100th Episode of Best Week Ever, Many Celebrities are Coming out to Say, "Congrats", Like Carl From Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Animation Experiment

2006-07-28T14:49:00.000-04:00

New York Animator Scott Bateman, Has Challenged Himself to Make an Animated Film every Day for a Year on Day 338, He animated Jake Fogelnest on K-Rock and I talking about My Born Again Christian Mom and the Day She Made Me Throw out my Poison Album...Enjoy

Click Here For Animated Scheer